When I read articles by well-known liberals espousing the rights of transgender women, I often wonder what they would think if they found out that a certain percentage of those women have a life-long, sexual interest in feminization.
Imagine that I, Felix Conrad, decided to transition tomorrow and started to live as Felicia Conrad. I would return to London and mix with my old university friends and attend workshops of fellow writers and go to meetings and do all those things which cosmopolitan professionals do. Naturally, as I was moving in those circles, everyone would be liberal and accepting of my transition and the fact I was transgender.
However, that acceptance would rely on a liberal narrative about the transgender condition which they all subscribe to. They would believe that deep down I’d always known that I was a woman and that I was trapped in the wrong body and my transition was about being liberated from that captive body. But would they be right?
The problem with the classic transgender narrative – in my case – is that it doesn’t include sexuality.
Obviously, as a blogger who specializes in crossdreaming I am aware of the arguments about transgender sexual fantasy/autogynephilia etc…so let’s not bore ourselves by repeating them. Instead, let’s agree on the following: that, as a crossdreamer, part of my motive for transition would be sexual i.e. it would turn me on to feminize my body. Personally, I think there’s nothing wrong with that, but it would surprise my liberal friends to discover this.
Of course, you could say that a homosexual who comes out to his friends and family does so in order to lead an outwardly gay life. Part of his reason is that it’s much easier to date and have relationships…therefore, part of that is sexual. But it’s not necessary he tells people about that reason…it’s implicitly understood. Similarly, it’s implicit that when a transwoman transitions she’s looking forward to having sex as a woman and having sex as her true self…and it’s not necessary to mention it.
However, there’s a difference…
While all transwomen look forward to having authentic sex as their true selves, there’s a percentage of those women who are crossdreamers. Not only do crossdreamers look forward to authentic sex, but they get turned on by the concept of being a woman and the various trappings of femininity. The general public, however, are simply not aware of this crossdreaming dimension.
Personally, I think that the general public have such a narrow view of sexuality that informing them would lead to misunderstanding and prejudice…so we should probably keep it to ourselves until we live in a more enlightened age. However, it’s not going to change the sentiment with which I began this post: that while I think it’s necessary we keep crossdreaming to ourselves…it makes me uncomfortable that liberal supporters of transgender rights (our most important allies) don’t know the full story about why some transwomen choose to transition.
So, as Felicia Conrad’s friends gathered around and expressed their solidarity with my suffering and the fact I always knew I was a woman, I would accept their support. But deep down I’d feel guilty because the crossdreamer’s story is more complicated than that…
…much more complicated.
Or is it? Please tell me if you think that a crossdreamer who transitions has a moral responsibility to tell her friends about her erotic interest in feminization.