https://dreamygirl.org/category/transgender-sissy-tests/
What is trans-scepticism?
Trans-scepticism is the natural reaction of anybody with half a brain to the incoherence and dogma of contemporary transgender theory.
It does not mean that you are transphobic. Personally, I am a trans-sceptic and I would take up arms to defend the trans community, but I’m also not prepared to take any crap from the twitter brigade or the trans thought-police.
In my experience, trans-scepticism involves a fundamental acceptance of transgender people and transgender rights, but a series of doubts about certain ideas that dominate trans theory. For example…
1. A solid rejection of the idea that there are 453 genders (demi-gendered, aporagender, poly gender etc.)
2. Uncertainty about the efficacy of transition as a treatment for gender dysphoria (while accepting the right to transition.)
3. The suspicion that while hormones may be the perfect treatment for some, they may also turn transition into a self fulfilling prophecy.
4. An open mind about the link between crossgender arousal and the desire to transition in individuals with a strong history of erotic crossdressing and sissification fantasies.
5. Conversely, the rejection of attempts to paint individuals with a history of crossgender arousal as ‘not truly trans’ but a bunch of ‘fetishists.’
The attempt to put trans-scepticism on a level with racism or homophobia is utterly misguided. Here’s why…
Homosexuality is a clear cut concept and a biological reality for humans and thousands of other species. There is no complication surrounding its meaning and the act of coming out is straightforward in its format and consequences. Therefore you can not be ‘gay sceptical’
By contrast, even the meaning of the word ‘transgender’ is fiercely debated, has few analogs in nature and the process of coming out may initiate the following.
: Surgical inversion of the genitalia
: Name changes
: Changes in legal status
: Development of secondary sexual characteristics of identified gender
: Multiple Medications
: Complete change of wardrobe, voice, walk etc.
…and many many other actions that affect the individual and their family.
Naturally, because of these changes, there is much more debate around theoretical and medical responses to the transgender condition than there is about homsexuality. This healthy and lively debate means that it is possible to be sceptical about mainstream ideas that dominate trans circles. This makes you a trans-sceptic…not a transphobic.
However, it is important to distinguish between the trans-scepticism of insiders in the trans community (like myself) and outsiders such as Ben shapiro. Pundits like Shapiro make a career of undermining the transgender narrative. Their mission is to troll the trans community (and ‘libtards’) making the public sceptical about transgender people. Given their conservative agenda, it is clear that they are on a transphobic mission.
In this case they are using trans-scepticism as a weapon. For me, however, trans-scepticism is a tool to help me understand the truth about my condition and the best way to cure its conjunct disease: gender dysphoria.
Conclusion
To conclude… a trans-sceptic is not necessarily transphobic, which means that Amanda Jette Knox’s comments on the subject are not correct. Trans-sceptisim is not transphobia repackaged…but a healthy slice of criticism directed at the tenets of contemporary transgender theory.
This week Elle and I saw Felix for the first time in ages (He’s been doing a Masters in counselling.)
As an avowed non-transitioner/desister he expressed some reservations about the direction of recent content. Without wanting to bore you, we agreed that every month we would include at least one video or blog post about some of the difficulties of transitioning.
So here’s February’s edition for Mister grumpy sour puss. However, it is a very interesting video that answers a question people sometimes ask: Does gender dysphoria go away if you are very pretty and feminine after transition? ‘
There are certain medical and legal contexts where it is useful for a transgender woman to indicate that she is a ‘transgender’ woman.
By doing so, she informs the listener about aspects of her biology and past life that are different from the majority of women – which is important for a doctor or an employer researching her professional history. In these cases, the marker ‘transgender’ serves a necessary function the same way ‘diabetic’ does.
I completely fail to see, however, why it is necessary to indicate my unusual biology in general conversation. And I especially don’t see why it is necessary to take on the wider, general identity of a ‘transgender woman’ or so called ‘trans-woman.’
I am a woman.
Period.
The increasing use of the term transwoman is deceptive: it has the appearance of a groovy, liberal term that says…
“Hey…being trans is not only something you shouldn’t be ashamed of, but something to be proud of!”
But when you analyse the term in its general use, you can see that it’s neither a medical or legal or liberal term but a marker which denotes the transwoman as a different species of woman: a transwoman. In other words, the term makes clear that she is not a real woman.
The question of whether or not a transgender woman is a woman is a disputed question in our society – not just between liberals and conservatives, but between transgender women and feminists, and transgender women and regular women. And what’s happening is that we are arriving at some kind of compromise where the rest of society is basically saying…
“Okay….Fine…We’ll allow you to be a woman…but it will be this new category of woman called a transwoman.”
In this case, the linguistic prefix ‘trans’ is like Private Smith, Junior Doctor, Master Jones, Acting Attorney General, Deputy/ trainee etc. It’s an indication of rank, reminding listeners that a transwoman has a different biology and is therefore a sub-woman.
When the suffragettes fought for the vote and the civil rights movement fought segregation, both groups sought full citizenship and all the rights that come with it. If the establishment had agreed to grant them citizenship but insist they retain a marker such as ‘black citizen’ or ‘female citizen’ the establishment would be creating a subcategory of citizen without the same status as a citizen. And that’s what’s happening with ‘transwoman’ as a subcategory of ‘woman.’
This mention of civil rights reminds me of a commonly used marker that is not derogatory: African American. And no doubt some readers will say that ‘transwoman’ is the same. But it’s not!
‘African American’ is an ethno-social term about ancestry and cultural identity. ‘Transgender’ is a multifaceted term, but all it reminds me of is a medical condition called gender dysphoria that made my life a nightmare. I’m not ashamed to be transgender, but why the fu*k should I be proud of a condition that led to hardcore surgeries and medications and counselling?
To be transgender is to suffer a pathology of the body. The disease is an imprisonment of our female sensibility within the flesh and blood of a man. We then correct this wrongness through surgery and other medical means. Why do we want to remind ourselves and others of these medical issues by naming ourselves ‘transwomen’?
Therefore, I fundamentally disagree with the widespread user of the term ‘transwoman.’ Yes, it’s useful when talking to doctors or in conversations about transgender issues, but it should never be an outward facing identity or a label the rest of society puts on us.
Nobody would refer to a woman who’s had a hysterectomy as a ‘sterile-woman’ so there’s no need to communicate our biological uniqueness / medical history by defining ourselves as ‘transgender women.’
Introduction.
While it’s FACTUALLY correct there are biological and social experiences which only a biological woman can have, this does not make the resulting transphobic VALUE JUDGEMENT correct…
…that a transwoman must be seen as less of a woman or not a woman at all because she lacks these experiences.
99% of people who use the ‘cis-experience’ argument are using it to imply that transwomen are second class women. The idea is particularly prevalent among liberal backsliders who know they should support transgender rights but are looking for a reason not to.
It is essential, therefore, that every transwoman be ready to crush this argument in three steps.
Step 1: Emphasize the similarities of cis and trans experience.
Most liberal backsliders won’t start with biology. They know that the argument from genitalia is too crude. That’s why they’ll usually start with a series of unique social, political and economic experiences that mark out cis-women.
Discrimination + Sexualization + Body shame.
And that’s when you smile at them…because they’ve just named three things that unite cis women and trans women.
i. Discrimination
They say…
“For many women, a defining experience of womanhood is discrimination. Women earn less than men, are more subject to domestic violence, are talked to differently, and experience all kinds of discrimination at the workplace. Only 17 of the Fortune 500 companies in the world are run by a female CEO.”
You say…
“Well guess what..!
…Transgender women experience all of that AND MORE. We experience discrimination and violence, both because we are women and because we’re transgender.”
ii. Sexualization
They say…
“Both in day to day life and in the media, women are portrayed as sexual objects that exist for the pleasure of men. Whether covert or overt, women are constantly sexualized and men are constantly collaborating in that sexualization.”
You say…
“Guess what..!
Transwomen experience all of that. They experience the general harassment of men, as well as the obsessive pursuit of so called ‘tranny chasers.’ For a generation raised on internet porn, transgender women are synonymous with shemales and the underlying belief that somehow transwomen are extra kinky.”
iii. Insecurity over the body / pressure to look good
They say…
“Someone born male can never understand the insecurity we feel over our appearance and the incredible social pressure to always look good.”
You say…
“Our fucked up relationship with our bodies has two dimensions: the years we spend in childhood where we have to deal with everything being wrong, and then the years post transition where we feel we’re not adequate. Either way, the transgender woman spends her whole damn life fretting about her body.
This also extends to makeup and clothes where – not having the crucial advantages of a biological woman – we have to make more effort.”
Step 2: Use the ‘Sarah argument’ to discount biological differences.
Now that you’ve rubbished their more sophisticated argument, they’ll sucker punch you with biology. They’ll point out that you have different chromosones or genitalia or no womb or no periods or whatever. And apparently, these things lead to a state of being that a transwoman cannot know in a million years.
The most commonly cited biological experience is, of course, that transwomen can’t have children. And that’s where you counter with the Sarah argument.
“But what about Sarah from the bible. She was barren…i.e. she couldn’t have children. Does that mean that Sarah wasn’t a woman?
Similarly, there are millions of disabled people or people suffering from diseases who lack certain limbs, organs, processes…whatever. Humans have two legs…would a person born with two stumps instead of legs not be a human? If my friend has her ovaries removed, is she no longer a woman?”
Basically, you make it clear that you can’t use missing biological components to challenge identity. It would be unacceptable to claim a disabled person was less of a person because they lacked a physical quality, and it’s unacceptable to say a transwoman is less of a woman because she has different biological features.
Conclusion: argument won… time to go home!
You will be pleased to know that there is a simple method for answering the question asked in the title of this book. We define what a woman is, and then see if a transgender woman matches that definition.
But you might not be so pleased when you find out that defining ‘woman’ immediately gets us in a debate which involves both the philosophy of language and science.
On one hand we have conservatives who claim that the word ‘woman’ refers to a set of rigid, biologically defined characteristics involving chromosomes, genitalia and anatomy, and that this definition cannot be changed. They see the definition of the word as set in stone and defined by nature – immutable and unchanging. For them, a transgender woman clearly does not comply with this definition and thus it is incorrect to use the word ‘woman’ to refer to her.
While liberals agree that the word ‘woman’ refers to an organism with the characteristics listed by conservatives, they believe that it can be broadened to include intersex people and transgender women.
The debate comes down, therefore, to a bigger question about the nature of human language: can the meaning of a word change? While the meaning of words such as ‘gay’ (which used to mean ‘happy’) is clear proof that the meanings of words can change over time, it is less clear whether scientific terms pertaining to the most basic things in the universe can change. A cow is a cow and a baby is a baby and water is water, so surely the meaning of a word like ‘woman’ cannot be changed.
However, we only have to look at the related term ‘mother’ – one of the most fundamental words in human biology and consciousness – to see that the meaning of a word can move beyond a strict biological definition. As my regular readers will know, I was adopted, and the woman who raised me did not produce the egg which made me and she did not carry me in her belly and she did not give birth. What right has she got to use the term mother? She has every right because she adopted and raised me and society has broadened the term ‘mother’ to include women who adopt children.
Furthermore, it is also clear that even the most fundamental scientific words can change if we discover something fundamentally new about the thing or process or state of mind they refer to. For example, there have been particles which have been mistakenly defined as waves, and waves mistakenly defined as particles and then the discovery that some particles can behave both like particles and waves.
It’s clear to me, therefore, and I hope it’s clear to you, that while conservatives can argue that they don’t think the meaning of ‘woman’ should be broadened to include transgender women, they cannot say that prima facie…the meaning of the word is set in stone and defined by nature and that’s it. As we have seen, words with biological origins can change for two reasons.
1. Social utility: Realising that some children without parents needed a mother we broadened the meaning of the word to include adoptive mothers.
2. Scientific: we discover some new property or characteristic of something, and this changes the meaning of the longstanding word that refers to that thing.
To conclude, the human race is constantly evolving socially and scientifically and our language reflects that. God, marriage, citizen, star, atom are all words that continue to morph through time and there are none that are immune to change. Without exception! Well, actually, that’s not true because there is one word that will never change: conservative.
Conservative will be synonymous with the word ‘cunt’ until the end of time.
The quick answer
PARADIGM 1: Your ideal male weight minus 2 or 3 kilos.
PARADIGM 2: Or… Until everything is perfectly flat and tight.
SAFETY NET: Apart from your Mum, anyone that tells you you look too skinny is usually right. Therefore, if you start looking like a junkie and people tell you you’re too skinny, pay attention!
link: Omni ideal weight calculator (use the Peterson formula!)
link: British NHS BMI calculator
The long answer
The first assignment on True Feminization is to control your diet, initiate a regimen of exercise and reach your ideal weight.
But what is that ideal weight if you’re a biological male intending to live according to your true gender: female.
This question caused a debate in our virtual office and as I’m the only trans girl in said office, Elle has charged me with explaining our conclusion.
The dilemma
On one hand, transgirls have the body of a biological male, but on the other we are engaged in a process of feminizing our bodies.
Obviously, for reasons of self esteem, bodily aesthetics, and wardrobe choices… we want to be well under the ideal weight for a biological male our size.
However, we don’t want to start making ourselves medically underweight with grueling diets that attempt a female weight that is ultimately impossible.
So how do we balance these conflicting needs and what’s the first question we need to resolve?
Question 1: Should I use the Male or the Female weight calculator?
The male calculator…
…with modifications.
Why?
Because we have baseline male bodies (sickening as it is…to say those words).
This means we have more muscle mass and heavier bones. And while we can reduce some of that muscle mass, we still have heavier bodies than biological women.
Some transwomen call it a myth that bio-men have heavier bones. They say the foundation of the myth is a fiction that males have greater bone density. But while this is indeed a myth, the greater weight never came from bone density… but from biological males’ bigger bones and bigger skeletons.
Biologically male bodies weigh more. Fact. (link: Gender differences in volumetric bone density)
Therefore, any attempt to reach the ideal female weight could put a biologically male body at a point that’s medically underweight. And as being underweight can cause health problems (compromised immune system, fragile bones and fatigue,) you should not attempt this target.
Also, given the difficulty of losing weight and maintaining that weight (and its effect on self esteem) you’re setting yourself up for disappointment with a brutally ideal target of female weight. Keeping up with the Kardashians is not good for your mental health.
How much muscle mass does a transgender women lose on hormone therapy?
In a study conducted by the British Medical Journal, researchers concluded that while estrogen decreases strength, size of muscles and lean body mass, all three remain higher in transgender women than in biological women. And this was even true in women on hormones for three years.
A study in The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism, states that in literal, physical size, hormone therapy reduced subjects’ muscle mass by 5%. (Anecdotally, though, I think I lost much more than 5% of my muscle mass.)
However, in terms of our central question, it’s not so relevant because most of the students on Elle’s program are pre-transition, and even if you take hormones, what you lose in muscle you’ll almost certainly gain in fat on your hips and ass.
Therefore, don’t start complicating your brain with this question when working out your ideal weight.
So how do I modify the ideal male weight?
Once you’ve worked out your ideal weight for a biological male, you then modify it because, as stated above, you don’t want the ideal weight of a guy… you wanna be a skinny bitch.
Therefore, you knock off some weight and go below your ideal weight.
But how much below?
Common sense dictates a simple answer: as many kilos as you can manage without reaching a weight that’s medically unhealthy.
How do you define a medically unhealthy weight?
The British national health service defines this as a BMI of 18.5.
However, if you’re terrible at Maths and generally a bit thick (as I am) then you really don’t understand the system of BMI.
In which case the solution is simple: start your diet, and leave it to your doctor or nurse to decide if you’re underweight.
Nobody should go for more than 6 months without a visit to their doctor. therefore, you ask your doctor to weigh you and evaluate if you are under weight. In the interim, you can also ask people you trust to tell you if they think you’re too skinny.
Conclusion
I leave you with my quick answer at the beginning.
PARADIGM 1: Your ideal male weight minus 2 or 3 kilos.
PARADIGM 2: Or… Until everything is perfectly flat and tight.
SAFETY NET: Apart from your Mum, anyone that tells you you look too skinny is usually right. Therefore, if you start looking like a junkie and people tell you you’re too skinny, start eating pasta and drinking beer and gain a couple of kilos. Or better… see a doctor.
link: Omni ideal weight calculator (use the Peterson formula)
Link: British NHS BMI calculator
INTRODUCTION
Today I would like to tell you about something I’ve never really shared before: that sometimes I see being transgender as a mental illness. Not only that, but I find the mental illness narrative to be a useful coping mechanism for a non transitioner. It helps me to beat my gender dyasphoria.
Before I go any further, I will remind you of Conrad’s five principles of gender variance: number 1…
1. Don’t project your own narrative of gender variance on to everyone else in the transgender community.
Therefore, although I sometimes find it useful to think of my condition as mental illness, I don’t think that the transgender condition is a prima facie mental illness. As ever, mine is a subjective narrative (a biological male with a history of crossdreaming and gender dysphoria who chooses not to transition) chosen by me. I’m not suggesting you or anyone else follow it.
So, with that caveat…allow me to explain why I find the idea useful.
THE CONTEXT
Just before I started writing this article I was watching the video for Side to Side by Ariana Grande – a woman who I greatly admire. She also triggers the f**k out of me with her intense femininity, causing the following state of mind…
…a simultaneous rejection of my male body and an intense desire to be female.
Shit! All I wanted to do was pass a few minutes watching pop videos, and now I’m feeling like shit about my body and my being. What’s the best way to deal with it?
Personally, as somebody who needs to get on with his day and look after children, I don’t find it useful to think the whole experience was caused by being a woman trapped in a man’s body.
In fact, I find it far more useful to think that I have a mental condition which makes me want to be a woman.
As I repeat ad-nauseum, nobody knows the underlying neuro-biology of the transgender condition, so whether I tell myself that I’m a woman or a man or an autogynephiliac or a non-binary monk from the planet Zubi, it’s all conjecture. Therefore, in a world of infinite narratives, I might as well choose the one that will make me happiest. Right now, that’s mental illness.
Don’t get Stroppy!
Now, before you splurt out your coffee and start writing me angry comments, let me explain.
I’m a non-transitioner (excuse the clumsy term) who has no intention of living as a woman. Therefore, for me, it’s a much better narrative to see my desire to be female as a quirky abberation – rather like my desire for alcohol.
As someone with a passion for alcohol, I have to deal with cravings. When I have these cravings I don’t tell myself they’re a sign that my body needs drugs and alcohol…I see them as my addictive personality calling out to satisfy its desire. Similarly, I see Ariana triggered desires as my transgender personality demanding satisfaction.
In both cases, I reject the request (generally).
It won’t be good for my children or my work if I start drinking a lot, and it wouldn’t be good for them if I suddenly announce I’m a woman. Therefore, I see these requests (and my disposition to addiction and dysphoria) as the result of genetic anomalies beyond my control. They’re a form of mental illness, as described by the American Psychiatric Association.
“Mental illness involves changes in thinking, emotion or behavior (or a combination of these) that cause distress and/or problems functioning in social, work or family activities.”
THE CRUCIAL POINT
People go nuts when you say the transgender condition is a mental illness because they have a limited definition of mental illness. It doesn’t mean locking people up in the looney bin, or going on lithium, or chaining dribbling idiots to radiators. In fact, mental illness doesn’t have to involve empirical facts. It’s often subjective.
For example, at this point in my life, dysphoria distresses me and transition would hamper my familial and professional functioning (thus qualifying for the term ‘mental illness.’) Therefore, I interpret the desire to transition as mental illness.
However, if I had Caitlyn Jenner’s money and a teams of doctors and family counselors, it might be the perfect time to transition. Therefore, the desire to transition would be all about becoming my true self i.e. not a mental illness.
Therefore, the term mental illness – although seemingly harsh – is really just another way of saying that transgender stuff is not convenient right now…and I’d do best to control it. It doesn’t mean that I regard my desire to be a woman as ill, or sordid, or shameful.
In fact, I view my transgender personality as one of the most important things about me. I am not ashamed at all of being transgender and if there was some kind of cure that could make me a man’s man – I would run a mile.
But, at the same time, I do not believe that this part of my mind comes from the fact I am a woman. In my opinion, it’s more likely to come from a psychological state that we can not label normal or abnormal – it just exists. That state causes people of one gender to want to be another gender and for me personally, it’s far more useful to see that state as a beautiful thing…but ultimately a mental illness that I need to control.
IT’S ALL ABOUT CONTROL
Trans people tell me: “Okay…so if you’re cool with being transgender…and the only problem is ‘convenience’…why not just call it an ‘inconvenience’ rather than a mental illness?”
The reason is control…
The mental illness tag allows me to control and deal with gender dysphoria. You see, while I respect and love my transgender voice – the illness tag allows me to dispute its ultimate authority.
If I didn’t see it as a form of mental illness then I would inevitably see it as the voice of my true self and would obey it. It would then dominate my life…and my children’s life…and cause a shitload of chaos…and go from inconvenience to harbinger of chaos.
Therefore, my particular strategy for dealing with gender dysphoria depends on delegetimizing the voice which tells me I’m a woman. My method is to label it as a minor mental illness.
NUANCE
I will finish our chat by citing my third principle: the quantum one…
3. It is perfectly valid to follow a number of different (even contradictory) narratives of gender variance at the same time. In fact, such nuance may be your best chance of happiness.
You see, there are other times of the day/week/year when I flip everything on its head and allow my transgender voice to dominate and I see myself as a woman. And other times when I see it all as a sexually inspired obsession (that’s why I write different books and articles from different perspectives.)
This may sound like a recipe for schizophrenia, but what unites us as transgender is not how we identify but that we all suffer from gender dysphoria. The prime goal of sufferers must be to manage this dysphoria – and to do it, each individual has to do do whatever works for him or her.
Therefore, if transition and womanhood works for you – perfect. Personally though, I find it helpful to see this voice in my head in multiple ways. Sometimes it’s the authentic me…sometimes it’s not. But most of the time I see it as a seductive voice that stems from mental illness. A beautiful mental illness…but a mental illness none the less.
Right now, that’s what works for me…
…what works for you?
THE CONSERVATIVE POSITION:
Right wing arguments on transgender issues all come down to the idea that gender is purely biological and unchanging. For them, gender pertains to a number of common biological characteristics present at birth (chromosomes, genitalia etc.) and just as you don’t see ducks change gender – humans can’t change gender either.
In their mind, trying to change gender is like having a dog that you really wish was a cat. So you make it a little catsuit and refer to it as a cat and even persuade your neighbours and town hall to refer to it as a cat. However, the reality is that it’s a dog…
…and nothing can change that!
MY EXPERIENCE:
A lot of transpeople try to challenge this biological definition of gender by pointing to intersex people. However, few conservatives find this convincing.
You see, for every biological entity that exists – be it a limb or a process or a cell – there is always a percentage that mutate. Therefore, the existence of intersex people doesn’t disprove the existence of a gender binary…only that nature does not always manufacture perfect copies of the same limb, process or cell.
MY ADVICE: THE SKYWALKER ARGUMENT
Do not try to challenge the primacy and existence of the biological binary. It is an anatomical fact. Instead, agree that gender is a biological reality but make them see the social component of gender as well.
How do you do this? With the Skywalker argument.
Here’s the script…
CON: I’m sorry…but boys can’t become girls or vice versa. If you’re born a boy then you can have all the operations and hormones you like…but you’ll never be a woman.
LIB: You mean…‘a biological woman’…a boy can never become a ‘biological woman.’ But it’s not necessary you say that because no-one is claiming that a transwoman is a biological woman.
CON: Excellent…so you admit that a ‘transwoman’ isn’t a woman.
LIB: No, I’m admitting that she isn’t a ‘biological’ woman.
(Note: in the opening exchange you must repeatedly correct them and say ‘biological woman’ every time they say a transwoman is not a ‘woman’ or a ‘real woman’. Eventually they will say that the only type of woman is a biological woman. That is the point where you proceed.)
CON: Right…well, as there isn’t any other type of woman apart from a biological woman…then you’re admitting I’m right.
LIB: No! That’s where you’re wrong. You can still be a woman without being a biological woman.
CON: Just like you can be a dog without being a dog?
LIB: Listen, imagine your parents had adopted a boy when you were a kid. And you loved that boy and you grewup together. Would you – everytime he claimed to be your brother – point out that because he didn’t meet the biological criteria for ‘brother’ that he wasn’t your brother?
CON: No. But that’s different.
LIB: No it isn’t. As with the term ‘woman’ the term ‘brother’ has a specific biological meaning with specific genetic requirements…yet you are willing to forgo that biological meaning and still call him brother.
CON: Yes, but that’s because the term ‘brother’ doesn’t just have a biological meaning..it can also have social and legal dimensions.
LIB: Exactly…and that’s the same with the term ‘woman’. Our understanding of transgender people has led the term ‘woman’ to take on a number of social, legal and medical dimensions…and the fact you just want to stay with the narrow biological term is to deny advances in psychology and society. Furthermore, it’s deeply insensitive.
CON: (Confused) But…
LIB: (Seizing the initiative) Let me ask you a question: do you remember the classic scene in Star Wars where Darth cuts Luke’s hand off with a light saber?
CON: Yes.
LIB: And what do the doctors do for Luke?
CON: They make him a metal hand.
LIB: Right. And…is it correct to call it a hand?
CON: Well…not biologically. It looks like one…but it’s not a biological hand it’s a prosthetic hand.
LIB: Right…it’s a prosthetic hand. But imagine you’re at a dinner and you wanna put a dish on the table but his hand’s in the way. Would you say… “could you move your prosthetic hand please.”?
CON: No. I’d say… ‘could you move your hand?’
LIB: But why?…It has no nails, no flesh, no bones and none of the biological components of a hand…it’s just a metal construction.
CON: Yeah…but it would be rude to remind a person with a prosthetic limb that the limb wasn’t ‘real.’ I’d never do that.
LIB: Exactly. What you need to understand is that just as it’s rude to remind Luke Skywalker that he doesn’t have a ‘real’ hand because it’s not a biological hand…it’s rude to remind a transgender woman that she’s not a biological woman. You’ve just proved the point that humans sometimes forego biological definitions for social reasons. And that that’s the right thing to do.
CON: No…no…wait a minute…they’re different examples. The hand thing is a medical problem…the dude had his hand chopped off.
LIB: Gender dysphoria is a medical condition. It’s been a recognised medical condition for decades. And if you examine the anthropological record you’ll see that gender variance isn’t some new phenomenon that was cooked up in the last decade…it’s as old as mankind itself.
CON: But…but…
LIB: You need to stop obsessing over biological definitions. We all know that a transwoman isn’t literally a biological woman…and no one’s saying that she is.
The situation is that she’s suffering from a crippling disease called gender dysphoria and the best treatment is to allow her to live as a woman and to help with that treatment by cooperating and thinking of her and referring to her as a woman. Just as you would refer to Luke Skywalker’s hand as a hand (and not start getting all hung up on biological definitions of hand) and just as you might refer to your foster son as your ‘son’ (even though he’s not your biological son) there are plenty of cases where we forgo biological definitions for social ones.
The world – and language – is complicated and we are not necessarily bound by the laws of biology when talking about that world. Therefore, is a transgender woman a biological woman…no she is not.
Is she a woman? Yes, she is.
1. Rednecks
Variations on the above: : “Did you do a special course in being ignorant…or did you just pick it up around the trailerpark?”
“Wow…it’s like some law of biology or something: people with small minds always have incredibly big mouths.”
“Has anyone seen any news reports about a village missing their idiot…I think I just found him.”
Introduction
The best thing to do with transphobic comments is to ignore them and keep on walking: why waste your time on assholes? As Sun Tsu said…
The battle not fought is the battle truly won!
Okay, he didn’t say that…but you know what I mean.
However, sometimes – at the school dining room or the office water cooler – you’re effectively cornered. If you say nothing then you come off as weak…and the comments are likely to continue. Today, therefore, I’d like to give you some comebacks to transphobic insults.
2. Insults re: womanhood
Here we have something a little less highbrow and a little more below the belt. If he insults your womanhood then go for his manhood (Not literally! Fuck it…on second thoughts…rip that thing off and feed it to the pigs! (Ew…did I really just say that?”)
Variations:
3. I would tell you to go fuck yourself but I’m pretty sure you’d be disappointed.
4. Acting like a dick won’t make yours any bigger.
5. Making them feel bad
Okay, I’ll admit… I wouldn’t hold out long for a transphobe to suddenly feel bad, but somethimes you need a comeback that’s not quite so aggressive.
6. Transphobic responses: not interested in your opinion, beeeeaaaatch!
Variations:
1. If you’re waiting for me to care, you better pack a lunch. It’s gonna be a while.
7. Know what’s funny? Not you, so shut up!
8. I’m sorry, I didn’t order a glass of your opinion.
9. I’m sorry…I think you mistook me for someone who gives a shit!
And now let’s finish this little tutorial with my personal favorite.
10. Wow…your asshole must get jealous with all the shit that comes out of your mouth!