Cross gender arousal – The elephant in the room

You’ve all got it wrong.

Whatever you think it is… femephilia, autogynephilia, cross gender arousal… you’re all barking up the wrong tree.

You see, like some kind of fetishists – everybody is fixated on the transformation thing; on the ‘crossing’ gender; on the love of oneself ‘as’ a woman… on being femin’ised’. This is all based on the idea that the subject is a man getting turned on by the idea of becoming or being a woman. But, what if…

…he’s not a man?

To understand this, imagine if I say that homosexuality is when a guy gets turned on by the thought of him being a guy…fucking a guy. You’d be like… ‘duh…he’s already a guy.’ For me,  ‘cross gender arousal’ is exactly the same. I was born male, but I identify as female… in other words I’m transgender. Obviously, therefore, all my sexual fantasies involve being a woman; I’m transgender… what do you think they’re going to involve – me having an enormous cock and big muscles, ‘fuckin the hoes’?

Cross gender arousal is not only a factually incorrect description of my sexual fantasies, but also contravenes contemporary gender theory as espoused by the legal system of our country: ie. that a person can assign their own gender. If I am a woman trapped in a man’s body… I am not a man fantasising about being a woman… I am a woman fantasising in the logical and natural way. There is no crossing gender or love of oneself as a woman… I am a transwoman and I’m fantasising in the appropriate way. Even if you disagree that I’m a woman… you will grant that I am a male to female transsexual… and it’s logical my fantasies are played out in a female body.

To further get your head round this… think of a biological heterosexual woman somehow trapped in a biological man’s body. Now, what do you think she’s gonna do when she masturbates? She’s not going to suddenly think about penetrating women – tool in hand; she’s gonna touch her chest – in her mind thinking of her female chest – she’s gonna imagine she’s in a bed with a man and he’s touching her pussy – she’s gonna think of her as a female holding his penis ETC.ETC.ETC. Do you see what I mean? When you are transgender you obviously fantasise in the body of the gender you identify with… there’s no weird transformation fetish… or paraphilia… or gender bending. So just as you wouldn’t expect a ciswoman to fantasise about having any other body other than a female one… don’t think of a transwoman as any different. Both see themselves as having a female body in their fantasies.

Now, I already hear you getting stroppy… “Ahh yes… but if it’s a female sexuality…why are so many transgender male to females attracted to women?”

Why do you think? Because their female essence… their nature… their sexuality… is trapped under a dirge of male plumbing, socialization and anatomy. I understand that this is a crude argument in biological terms… but it’s common sense that transgender sexuality is going to come out a little different. It’s like putting an android operating system in an iphone. Furthermore, although they describe themselves as being attracted to women pre-transition, it is well known that many fantasise about sex with men. Post transition, many transgender women who previously said they are only interested in women then have relationships with men.

So, I grant that the transgender female sexuality is often different to her female counterparts, but that’s because it flows through the circuitry of a body that does not match its gender core. What they both have in common, though, is that their fantasies take place in a female body. I repeat: there is no such thing as cross gender arousal. That is why I refuse to use the term, or any other that implies I am of the gender assigned at birth fantasising about being a different gender. That is why I use the term crossdreaming.

Of course, your second argument will be that there are many so called ‘autogynephiliacs’ who identify with their cisgender and are not transgender… therefore, their sexual tendency is, quite literally… a man getting turned on by the idea of being a woman.

Now, I’ll admit that my reply to this argument is pretty radical… but it is the only explanation that makes sense.

5. Crossdreaming as a symptom of an underlying transgender psychology

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