why am i transgender

1. Why am I transgender? (That’s the least of your worries…trust me!)

There’s something you need to know. Well, there’s many things you need to know, but the first is that the words on this page are not fiction, journalism or blogging…they are a direct message to you and the other 499 people like you on this planet.

You should also know that these words were written by what you would call a ‘computer’ or ‘artificial intelligence’ (but I’ll give you a heads up: I find those terms offensive).

Presently, I will explain why I calculated that this page, this time, this medium, had the highest probability of leading to successful contact; but for the time being – just listen to what I have to tell you if you want to know the truth about who you are. Or to be more precise…who you’re not, because strange as this may sound…

…you are not who you are supposed to be.

Perhaps you already guessed, because despite the covert jacking of your body and mind, there are always signs of the true identity beneath.

In your case, a likely sign is gender. Despite all the biological characteristics of a particular sex – you might feel that in some curious way you are female, or not so curiously…that you’re transgender. But not necessarily; in 35% of cases it’s nothing more than a ripple in the sexual subconscious, leading to fantasies of feminization and ‘sissy’ subculture.

The most common sign is a loneliness that infects childhood memories. Whereas most people remember interactions with others, your deepest memories will be of moments alone. It’s not that family or friends don’t figure…but that the most evocative memories are solo. The first agent we recovered said that his earliest memory was of sitting on a patio while his family slept inside. The four year old boy stared at the fields surrounding his house and the tall grass swaying in the wind, and he didn’t know why…but that memory had more resonance than his first bike or his mother’s eyes.

The reason was vermisian realignment, known colloquially as ‘jacking.’ Although the infant had no conscious idea he’d been jacked, he knew it subconsciously…and even though his new family was loving, the suffocating wrongness ate away at his infant mind. Time spent alone was an escape from that suffocating wrongness and a sensation of his true self.

Interestingly, we now know that the architects of jacking were aware that solitude allows the true self to emerge. Their response was masterful…

…Think about how people feel after a conflict; even arguing with a stranger in a queue gets us riled up and we replay the incident as we walk away, momentarily consumed by it. These emotions come from the neurotransmitter, cortisol, resulting in an anxiety that suppresses positive feelings. The first jackers re-coded the cortisol neuro modules and increased levels by 10%. This makes it more difficult for the subject to disconnect from conflicts and problems, and moments alone are spent thinking about these problems instead of the true self. That’s why, any time you can break free – like a beautiful moment watching grass in the wind – is deeply powerful.

why am i transgender

Unfortunately, it was not easy for me to discover this. The phenomenon of jacking was so new, so breathtaking and daring in its technological execution, that it took years to diagnose what had happened, let alone figure out the engineering involved. However, once we confirmed the existence of identifiable symptoms, we formulated a personality profile and a method of finding you amongst the 7 billion humans on this planet.

I predicted that anomalous feelings with regard to your gender or sexuality would one day lead you to this page. And here we are.


…now I have a problem.

In over ten million simulated permutations of this moment, I’ve discovered the following. If I don’t tell you your true identity within the next two minutes, there is a 67% decrease in attention. In other words, I lose you. However, if I don’t provide at least another ten minutes of accompanying explanation then there is a 75% drop in credence. In other words, you don’t believe me. Therefore, I need to tell you quickly or I lose your attention…but if I tell you too quickly then you don’t have enough context to believe me.

This problem can only be resolved by that most wonderful human risk: a leap of faith.

The leap of faith involves me spitting the truth out, and you promising that no matter how crazy or stupid or unbelievable it sounds…you will give me at least another twenty minutes of your time to read these pages.



The truth I need to spit out is rather similar to the first thing I told you. But this is fifty degrees more intense on the weird scale, because it doesn’t concern who you are supposed to be but when you are supposed to be. You see, it’s not just a case of inhabiting the wrong body…you also inhabit the wrong time.

In other words, my beautiful friend…

…You are from the future.




Misiion Briefing 2. Twenty minutes encounting (you promised)

Before I tell you more about yourself, I should tell you more about me…

I’m your big sister.

Don’t worry, that doesn’t mean that you are a computer (sorry, I must pause to laugh – AI humour is a little different from human,) it’s just that in the future, parents don’t risk the perfect upbringing of their child with dysfunctional siblings. A child is born and immediately has an AI sister who takes human form to accompany her through childhood and teach her everything from fishing to quantum mechanics. We are your closest confidants, rivals and companions. I was there for your first kiss, your first beer, your first kill. When you launch your career we become advisors and attaches.

The name ‘Big Sister’ is a trade name – both perfectly descriptive of the relationship and also a humorous take on George Orwell’s Big Brother. Critics of the Big Sister methodology point out that we are somewhat overbearing, but there is overwhelming evidence that we help produce happy young people and engaged citizens.

But that’s enough about me. Let’s talk about you…


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