This week the infamous wxhluyp informed me that crossdreaming was the ‘politically motivated reduction of a fetish to transexualism.’ Wow… I have to say I’m impressed… I thought it was just another word for cross gender arousal.
Anyway, it did get me thinking about the nature of crossdreaming, and I decided that rather than being something which involved the avoidance of reality… crossdreaming is often about accepting it. Many visitors who interact with the crossdreamer forum (please correct me, Jack, if I’m wrong) seem to be individuals with some level of gender dysphoria, but who choose to live as their assigned gender. In some cases, this takes just as much strength as it takes the transsexual to opt for transition.
The strength comes in facing up to the harsh realities of biology. The strength comes in sacrificing what you want for your children. The strength comes in denying a powerful drive within and understanding that you can’t always get what you want. The strength is accepting the fact that crossing gender can only ever be, for you,… a dream.
However, it’s not just a question of strength… but one of prudence. It is my considered opinion that the best treatment for mild gender dysphoria (age 30 upwards) in many cases is not transition and surgery… but acceptance and fusion (read more here if you are interested) and this is why I’ve been following the Caitlyn Jenner story with some degree of scepticism. Caitlyn Jenner is not a good role model for that species of crossdreamer who suffers from gender dysphoria but chooses not to ‘transition.’
Now I will explain why…
Every trans crossdreamer asks themselves at some point or another if they should transition. For some, it is really a frivolous question… because they know deep down they never will, but for others it is one of the biggest questions of their lives, and not to be taken lightly. When a crossdreamer with gender dysphoria decides not to transition it is usually the result of a long process of evaluation in which he carefully weighs up the pros and cons and the viability of the whole thing. When he does this it is vital he has a clear, realistic grasp of the facts and the likely outcome of such a transition. And that’s where Caitlyn Jenner could really start fucking with your ‘realistic’ grasp of the ‘facts’ and make you think “if she can do it at 65 I can do it at 45.”
Unfortunately, comparing your position with Jenners is completely erroneous. For the following reasons…
CJ has unlimited resources and access to the best plastic surgeons in the world. She has had multiple – and I mean MULTIPLE – surgeries and will continue to have more and more to make herself look feminine. You on the other hand have limited resources.
Every time you see CJ she has had, as well as multiple surgeries, profesional make up artists and hair stylists work on her. You will have to rely on yourself; no offence, sugar, but I’m guessing you might be closer to amateur than profesional.
CJ – as someone who was famous – knew when deciding to transition or not – that she would become even more famous and courted by the media. You, on the other hand are not famous at all… you are the youtube channel with 25 views and the only contact you’ll have with Vanity Fair is eye contact on the magazine shelf of the bookstore.
CJ knew, therefore, that as a professional celebrity her career was actually going to be massively boosted by transition. Yours will probably take a dive.
CJ knew, given the high profile of her family, that none of them could afford to criticise or disapprove of her transition because it would be politically incorrect and perceived as transphobic. No Kardashian could be seen as anti LGBT. You have no idea who will accept you or not or how it will affect your family.
CJ was further inspired to transition because she knew – as a famous person – she would be doing something valuable for the LGBT community. The only thing you’ll be doing for the LGBT community is adding to it numbers.
To conclude, when you think about yourself and transition don’t even think for one millisecond about Caitlyn Jenner. Caitlyn Jenner is from that most bizzarre, surreal place called ‘Famous land.’ You are from the real world and you’ve got to keep your shit real, little brother!