Artemis Transgender test – discover your true gender

After a 6 month relationship, your friend breaks up with a person you've been infatuated with for years. How much time needs to pass before it's acceptable to make a move?

Six months.

Never. The moment this person is your friend's ex, they are off-limits forever.

One month.

Immediately. Love is love, and the silly laws of friends' exes should not be an impediment.

Three months.

A year.

HINT: Be careful about choosing answers which are stereotypically considered female, as sometimes the correct answer is unexpected.

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1 out of 25

You go to a party and somebody is wearing the same outfit as you; do you feel like…

Killing yourself.

Killing them.

Really gutted.

Pretty embarrassed, but there's worse things that can happen in life.

Affirmed that your style is popular.

Nothing much in particular.

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2 out of 25

It's 8:00 p.m. and there's a sink full of dishes. The dishes...

Can wait until the morning.

Have to be done before bed.

Cam wait til' someone else does them.

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3 out of 25

You find a wallet in the park with a driver's license, credit card, and 100 euros. You…

Take the money but hand in the wallet to the police station.

Hand in the wallet including the money, to the police station.

Pocket the money and throw the wallet in the bin.

Hover around the park for the next hour waiting to see if the person comes back.

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4 out of 25

In war, what is the most important key to victory?

Absolute brute force

Strategy

Allies

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5 out of 25

Your spouse needs you to attend an important work dinner with their boss. Your spouse explains that the boss is very conservative (and vocal about it) and asks you to refrain from expounding your liberal views. Your reply is…

I am who I am. Take it or leave it.

Of course: I'll say or not say whatever I have to do to advance your career.

I'll try, but I can't guarantee that I won't say anything if he starts being really offensive.

A grudging “I suppose so.”

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6 out of 25

You hear on the grapevine that your circle of friends is always criticizing you for the way you dress. You're always bringing attention to the group and attention to yourself. Do you…

Get new friends.

Get a new wardrobe.

Get a knife and cut those b****** up for talking behind your back.

Carry on dressing exactly as you did and bad luck on them.

Make a few small changes in order to be a little less stand out.

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7 out of 25

Your very attractive boss (of the opposite gender) offers you five grand to perform oral sex.

Take the five grand.

Take them to court.

( we understand there's lots of other things you could do, but what does your instinct tell you out of the above 2 options.))

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8 out of 25

A Muslim friend comes over for dinner and you realize at the last moment that the dinner you have slaved away for 3 hours cooking has an undetectable, extremely small amount of pork fat in it…

Have a brief snigger to yourself and proceed to serve.

Feel extremely guilty, but proceed to serve anyway.

Explain what happened and give everyone a round of sandwiches or whatever is immediately available.

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9 out of 25

You have had the good fortune to know and court five different potential partners. Each of them has one striking advantage and one striking disadvantage. Which one do you choose?

A load of money but ugly and fat.

Breathtaking beauty but incurable halitosis.

A barrel of laughs but extremely messy and a bit lax on personal hygiene.

Undying loyalty but chronically low sex drive.

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10 out of 25

The best type of immigrant is…

One who never leaves their country in the first place.

Law-abiding and respectful.

Pretty much any immigrant, as the declining birth rate makes it inevitable that we will need foreign workers.

Never really thought about it.

Brings some kind of specialized skill needed for the economy.

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11 out of 25

On Saturday night, you win a million pounds on the lottery. If you work on pure instinct and self-knowledge, which of these Monday morning scenarios most captures your character?

Paralyzed with fear you lie in bed, not able to deal with such good luck and certain it will only bring bad things.

Get up, get dressed and go to work as normal.

Catch a plane to Vegas. 6 months later you're in rehab without a penny to your name.

Book a dream holiday to celebrate, Then spend a couple of weeks travelling, buy a house and invest the rest of the money in sensible low risk investments.

Lose your head for a while and spunk a lot of money on the finer things in life, crap that you quite frankly didn't even need, but you do in the end manage to get control and buy a house and save some of the money.

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12 out of 25

What's your immediate response when I say... "Humans are basically…"

...Good

...Bad

...Stupid

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13 out of 25

You’re attending a picnic by the river on a beautiful summer's day. What color outfit would you wear?

Aqua Blue – Reflecting the water and sky, cool and calming.

Bright Yellow – Sunny, cheerful, and full of energy.

Pink – Soft and light, perfect for a sunny day.

Black – Classic and chic, no matter the setting.

I'd be open to all colors.

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14 out of 25

Your aunt cuts her own children off (out of spite) and leaves her one asset - a five-bedroom house - to you. Her children ask you to do the decent thing and give them a share of the house. Your response is to…

Pack your suitcases, move in, and send out invites for the housewarming.

Start negotiating With the aim of sharing everything equally with them.

Start negotiating with the aim of giving them something, but keeping most for yourself. yourself.

Point out that the decent thing is to respect the wishes of the deceased.

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15 out of 25

Owning 20 pairs of shoes seems to me…

About right

Excessive

Inadaquate

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16 out of 25

One day you receive an anonymous email with links to over 15 (very filthy) pornographic films which your current partner starred in 10 years ago. You have no knowledge of their pornographic past. What’s the first thing you do?

Get horny

Get mad

Get them on the phone and demand an explanation

Dump them

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17 out of 25

Your kind and loyal spouse is woefully inadequate in bed despite your best attempts to teach them. Does this give you a right to seek sexual satisfaction somewhere else?

Yes, as long as it's safe and there's no love involved.

No.

Yes, as long as they don't find out.

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18 out of 25

You want to start your own small business, but the only way to start it is to remortgage your house.

No way!

Nothing ventured nothing gained... she who dares wins

After careful consideration and detailed financial planning you decide to go ahead with the remortgage

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19 out of 25

You decide to go to the cinema on your own. While waiting, some local youths push in front of you. When you complain, the youth tells you to shut your mouth or he'll shut it for you and they all laugh at you. Do you…

Go home because the whole experience has been ruined

Go Bruce Lee on the dude and fuck his world

Wait in line. Nobody ain’t going to stop you seeing your movie

Avoid physical confrontation, but come up with a funny comeback to show that he does not scare you

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20 out of 25

Dressed up for a lunch date, a construction worker whistles at you. You feel…

Harassed

Complimented

Depends what he looks like

Turned on

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21 out of 25

“If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing properly”. This saying is basically…

Some shit the old people say

Pretty much my philosophy

Pretty much my philosophy, but I'm not so good at following it

My philosophy… unless I can get away with it

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22 out of 25

Your boss passes you over for promotion; you beleieve you deserved said promotion. How do you react?

Confront your boss directly and ask for an explanation.

Keep working hard and wait for the next opportunity, hoping your dedication will be noticed.

Start looking for another job at a company that will recognize your worth.

Accept the situation, even though you're disappointed, and avoid making a fuss. After all, who are you to know who's best for the promotion.

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23 out of 25

You’re on a plane with a very elderly person sitting on your right. Suddenly, there’s an emergency. The oxygen masks drop, and you know you only have seconds to react. What do you do first?"

Help the elderly person with their mask and then put yours on.

Fuck that old cunt. I'll get my own mask on first and then help him.

If I could stop to think I'd probably help the old person first, but I think I'd just react instantly and put my own mask on.

Panic, freeze, collapse.

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24 out of 25

Donald Trump is...

Misunderstood

An asshole!

Not my ideal president but I voted for the guy anyway.

A genius

None

25 out of 25

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Artemis Transgender test – discover your true gender

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