When you come to Mazari, I am thinking of taking you as my maid.

One of your duties will be to attend to me as I bathe. But don't be alarmed when I submerge underwater. Vampires can't drown.

Now, I suppose you want to know about the whole blood thing. Do I drink blood? And more importantly, if you are my maid, will I drink yours?

You'll just have to trust your instincts and find out.

Roots are the real enemy. Hair grows about 1–1.5 cm a month, so most people with an all-over blonde need a root touch-up every 4–8 weeks, and closer to 4–6 if their natural colour is dark, because the contrast shows sooner. Toner is the other half of the job. It fades and the brass creeps in, so a toner or gloss every 4–6 weeks, plus purple shampoo once or twice a week, keeps it cool rather than turning orange. Bleach only the regrowth, never the full length again, because overlapping bleach is how blondes end up snapping. If that schedule sounds exhausting, balayage or a "lived-in" blonde with a softer root can stretch to every 3–4 months.

Dear Timmy, just a quick note to let you know how I'm doing. As you can see, pretty nicely... yep, that's my new boyfriend you can see... (well, part of him anyway LOL). I know you're probably wanting to know why I'm swallowing when I never used to for you; well, it's cos of your little shrivelled baby dick; see... although I didn't realize it at the time, it's subconscious: anything childlike causes a non-sexual feeling. I mean, I didn't even like sucking it let alone swallowing. Now I've got a real man, though, I really like it TBH. Anyway, as Troy just sent me that pic, I thought I'd share it with my loser ex coz it made me realize how happy and fulfilled I am now, and how unhappy and unfulfilled I was with you. Please, do womankind a favor... don't get another girlfriend!