Tag: crossdreamer

Should I ‘come out’ to my friends and family and tell them I am transgender?

Felix Conrad

Transgender

  Like most people, I believe in the twenty-first century principles of equality, openness and tolerance. I also believe people should be true to themselves and to others. However, I do not have it clear whether it is wise or necessary to out yourself as transgendered, autogynephiliac or crossdreamer. In the first place, it is not a straightforward jump out of the closet. When you tell people you’re gay they immediately know what you’re talking about. If someone wants to come out as an autogynephiliac they’re gonna have a lot of explaining to do. I give you an extract from Electra to illustrate this. “Think of a group of adults describing their relationship with blowjobs to a panel of ordinary citizens. First up comes a heterosexual woman: “I’m a woman and I like to suck men.” Everyone on the panel nods their head in understanding. Then comes a gay guy:…

Was Blanchard right when he said that “Autogynephilia competes with heterosexuality”?

Felix Conrad

Autogynephilia

When Blanchard said that Autogynephilia competed with heterosexuality he was making a very Blanchard-like statement. For him, autogynephilia was an aberration while heterosexuality was a God-given behavior that nature intended for us, so it was inevitable he would frame any relationship between the two as an ongoing fight for the heart and soul of the individual. Rather unusually for a Blanchard-like statement, however, many crossdreamers strongly relate to this narrative of two psychosexual forces at loggerheads. Who am I and what am I? There are many reasons why the question of ‘competition’ resonates, but the most important is the desire to know who we are and what we are. What we’re really asking is – given all these different desires I have…what the hell am I? Part heterosexual part crossdreamer? A heterosexual with a fetish on the side? Bisexual (taking into account fantasies about men) or something completely unique? Caveat…

Is it acceptable to use the term ‘fetish’ and ‘paraphilia’ when talking about crossdreaming?

Felix Conrad

Crossdreaming

I’d like to speak today about a linguistic dispute in the reddit crossdreamer thread. A dispute which can be described in the following terms… – Some members of the community want to refer to crossdreaming as a fetish . We will call them fetishists. – Some members are offended by this. We will call them crossdreamers How to resolve this issue First of all I want to make clear that this is solely a linguistic dispute. Crossdreamers have no problem with the idea that crossdreaming is fundamentally sexual.. ie… there are no hidden female identities, no transgender narrative… and that the crossdreamer is primarily motivated by a sexual urge. Crossdreamers do not believe that, but recognise it is a valid argument. So that’s not the cause of the dispute. What offends the crossdreamers is the use of the words fetish and paraphilia when talking about that sexual urge. The crossdreamers…

How to tell your girlfriend or wife that you are a crossdresser /sissy / autogynephiliac

Felix Conrad

Autogynephilia

Attention: this post is in response to an e-mail request. It is about telling your girlfriend that it turns you on to dress like a woman. It assumes you understand that ‘crossdresser’ and ‘transvestite’ are misnomers for the real force at work: crossdreaming – arousal at the idea of oneself as a woman.   Dear Felix, You repeatedly state in your books that we have a moral obligation to inform a new spouse or girlfriend that we get turned on by dressing like and having sex as a girl. Please could you tell me the best way to go about telling my new girlfriend about my crossdressing and other related desires. Anonymous. Dear Crossdreamer, This is a complex question. While you do have a moral obligation to inform her that she’s not the only one who likes to get dressed up and penetrated, you must also remember that she has…

Should I ‘come out’ to my friends and family and tell them I am transgender?

Felix Conrad

Autogynephilia

  Like most people, I believe in the twenty-first century principles of equality, openness and tolerance. I also believe people should be true to themselves and to others. However, I do not have it clear whether it is wise or necessary to out yourself as transgendered, autogynephiliac or crossdreamer. In the first place, it is not a straightforward jump out of the closet. When you tell people you’re gay they immediately know what you’re talking about. If someone wants to come out as an autogynephiliac they’re gonna have a lot of explaining to do. I give you an extract from Electra to illustrate this. “Think of a group of adults describing their relationship with blowjobs to a panel of ordinary citizens. First up comes a heterosexual woman: “I’m a woman and I like to suck men.” Everyone on the panel nods their head in understanding. Then comes a gay guy:…