Category: How to Beat Gender Dysphoria

Dysphoria Reality Check: Even if you’re pretty you can still have relapses!

21/12/2024

How to Beat Gender Dysphoria

This week Elle and I saw Felix for the first time in ages (He’s been doing a Masters in counselling.) As an avowed non-transitioner/desister he expressed some reservations about the direction of recent content. Without wanting to bore you, we agreed that every month we would include at least one video or blog post about some of the difficulties of transitioning. So here’s February’s edition for Mister grumpy sour puss. However, it is a very interesting video that answers a question people sometimes ask: Does gender dysphoria go away if you are very pretty and feminine after transition? ‘

Is being transgender a mental illness?

21/12/2024

How to Beat Gender Dysphoria

INTRODUCTION Today I would like to tell you about something I’ve never really shared before: that sometimes I see being transgender as a mental illness. Not only that, but I find the mental illness narrative to be a useful coping mechanism for a non transitioner. It helps me to beat my gender dyasphoria. Before I go any further, I will remind you of Conrad’s five principles of gender variance: number 1… 1. Don’t project your own narrative of gender variance on to everyone else in the transgender community. Therefore, although I sometimes find it useful to think of my condition as mental illness, I don’t think that the transgender condition is a prima facie mental illness. As ever, mine is a subjective narrative (a biological male with a history of crossdreaming and gender dysphoria who chooses not to transition) chosen by me. I’m not suggesting you or anyone else follow it. So, with that…

Part 1. How can you beat gender dysphoria without transitioning?

05/08/2020

How to Beat Gender Dysphoria

CHAPTER1: Some common sense strategies for beating gender dysphoria Combating gender dysphoria without transitioning is a war on three fronts: Frequency Complicity Narrative Frequency strategies are based on the idea that your overall mental health has a powerful effect on gender dysphoria, making it either better or worse. Therefore, you need to identify aspects of your life which obviously aggravate gender dysphoria. If you’re a borderline depressive with no job, no friends and a hell of a lot of time to think, for example, you’re clearly living a life that will intensify your dysphoria. By using coaching techniques such as life planning, however, you can rebuild your life from the bottom up, treating the depression, getting a good job and investing in new friendships. Thus… by reducing the amount of dysphoria inducing factors in your life you reduce the frequency of attacks. Complicity strategies look for non-invasive, practical ways to…

How to Jedi Mindtrick Your Gender Dysphoria…

31/07/2020

How to Beat Gender Dysphoria

Chapter 1: Be transgnostic. I’m going to begin our session the way I start all my sessions: with a single slap to the face. Your face. No doubt you’ll start protesting, but that’s when I’m going to hold up the cover of this book and point to the title. Come on! Didn’t you suspect when you saw the word Jedi that my gender dysphoria treatment was going to be a bit unconventional? And now that you’re starting to see just how unconventional it is, my tone will soften and I’ll explain why I slapped you. It was to snap you out of the dream. You see, almost every transgender person who seeks me out has lost their fricking mind somewhere in Internetland. This is because a gender awakening leads people to wonder what’s happening to them, so they go to the internet. But while a search for local pizza yields…

What’s gender dysphoria like? A GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION

05/06/2020

How to Beat Gender Dysphoria

HOW IT BEGAN? It all began with a lingerie model. I would like to say it was a model who I met in the flesh, but unfortunately my life isn’t so rock n’ roll and she was a model on a YouTube video about the new Victoria’s Secret collection. A friend, knowing of my thing for Alessandra Ambrosio, sent me a five-minute clip of various amazing models strutting their stuff and modelling lingerie at different locations around Paris. My friend also knew that I was on day 1 on the wagon (not drinking alcohol) and sent it to cheer me up. Featured in this video was a model I’d never seen before…and I instantly fell in love with her. As is the way with crossgender love, it was that curious beam of energy we project on the subject of our love but then bounce back on ourselves in some…

Part 2 & 3: The role of narrative therapy in treating gender dysphoria

04/06/2019

How to Beat Gender Dysphoria

CHAPTER 2: The absence of narrative: why my previous work is fundamentally flawed. Given the scientific impossibility of proving existing narratives for the transgender condition, I decided that the best narrative was no narrative. This I called…‘transgnosticism’. While blocking the rabbit holes of female essence, transvestic fetishism and many others, transgnosticism also embraced the stark fact that nobody knows why the transgender condition exists. Thus, having eliminated the transition pressure of trans theory and the stigma of sexology, the gender dysphoric could build themselves a beautiful life without the need for gender change. However, I now see transgnosticism as an error. Why? Because it’s a well known principle of psychology that when a human doesn’t know or understand, they invent an explanation. Therefore, not only do humans deal badly with non-narratives such as… ‘we just don’t know’… they can’t deal with them at all. In other words, human nature is…

Part 4 & 5: Building a therapeutic narrative for gender dysphoria

02/06/2019

How to Beat Gender Dysphoria

CHAPTER 5: The healer narrative The happiest non transitioner I know is called Toni – a spiritual individual whose transgender narrative is also spiritual. And let’s use that to remember what I said earlier: that you can’t create blanket narratives for non-transitioners: by nature, they tend to be trans critical and in need of an explanation that fits their personality and outlook on life. So, while an empiricist may find Toni’s spirituality completely disqualifying – it’s the base upon which his narrative relies. As a spiritual person, it would be impossible for his narrative to be anything but spiritual. For Toni, the imporant thing is the historical position of transgender women in certain indigenous cultures, most especially a native American conception of gender variance that is called ‘two-spirit.’ In some Indian tribes the two spirit was considered as having the soul of both a man and a woman and was…

The transgirl superpower that intensifies our gender dysphoria

21/09/2018

How to Beat Gender Dysphoria

Not a lot of people know this…but transgender women have a superpower. Unfortunately, this superpower does not allow us to fly up the Empire State Building or bring down Trump or bring forth world peace. In fact, the only thing it seems to do is bring on a triple dose of gender dysphoria. I realized this transgender superpower as I lay in bed last night, taking a mental tour of my anatomy. Despite the satisfaction of a post transition body which – through art and science and sheer force of will – I have managed to shape according to my female nature, there is one part that refuses to cooperate. It’s the lost property office between my legs where someone else’s genitalia got deposited. And never claimed. I’ve renounced that organ, I’ve ostracized it, I’ve pumped it with more estrogen than any organ can take, but that son of a…

Is there a relationship between gender dysphoria and the fear of ageing?

15/04/2017

How to Beat Gender Dysphoria

While I constantly disagree with Contrapoint’s videos, she often makes some fascinating observations. One thing that caught my interest in a recent video was that her transition was triggered by the first signs of male ageing. Basically, she saw the irrefutable signs that that her biological future was of the man type, and would involve such gender specific treats as balding and hairy ears. That may sound implausible, because, after all, if you’re a biological male you’ve known your whole life about the biological future nature has in store for you. However, like so many realities of human existence there are two levels of knowing: abstract…and first hand experience. It’s only when you see the tangible signs of that adult male trajectory that it becomes a reality. I will never forget the day in my late teens when I pulled my hair back to look at a spot on…

How should (‘some’) transgender individuals identify?

20/12/2014

How to Beat Gender Dysphoria

Step 2b of the Fusion Program: Identify in a healthy, realistic direction, and understand that gender change for you should be mostly psychological not physical. (Sorry, a more accurate title for this article would be… How should a transgender person with moderate gender dysphoria and a femephiliac sexuality identify? As ever, readers should remember that our advice is not suited to early onset transexuals or suffererers of severe gender dysphoria.) It’s time for a thought experiment. Yes, another one! I would like you to imagine a different world in which the previously mentioned four year old boy suddenly and unexpectedly presents himself to his family, in a dress. I want you to imagine that the parents are absolutely delighted and immediately call the child’s grandparents and various friends to inform them what’s happened. And you might well ask… “Why the fuck would they do that?” Because they know that they’re child…