Felix Conrad

Who is Jack Molay?

Crossdreaming

We all know that he is the founder of crossdreamers.com and an ardent transgender activist… but what’s his favourite pasta sauce? Does he like football? What motivates him get to get out of bed each morning?” If you’ve ever wondered who Jack Molay is? (And I know I have) this is your chance. Hi Jack. Let’s start with five random questions. What is your favourite pasta sauce and are you a good cook? My pasta sauce will be very basic: A can of crushed tomatoes, some tomato puree, a couple of garlic cloves, virgin olive oil, salt, pepper, fresh basil and oregano. Then let it simmer for some 45 minutes. We normally cook from scratch, my wife and me. What’s your idea of a perfect Saturday? We have a couple of favourite cafe’s where we live, and sometimes we just bring a book or our iPads and spend some time…

Felix Conrad

Is autogynephilia a fetish?

Autogynephilia

‘Fetish’ is an extremely unhelpful word. It is not a neutral, scientific word, but a term that comes loaded with baggage, and to most people is a synonym of ‘perversion.’ Therefore, even if it was technically correct to say that femephilia is a fetish I would eliminate the term from any dialogue around femephilia. However, while we’re on the subject, I don’t believe autogynephilia* is a fetish because, again, femephiliac sexual behaviour is too complex to label in one pen stroke. For example, its fantasies often involve a mix of hetero or homo lust, emotion for the sexual partner, and femephiliac lust… you can’t tease them apart and say it’s all about being a woman and that’s the only thing going on. Autogynephilia is fluid: it can sometimes form a major part or only a minor part of a sexual experience. It is also chameleon like and changes in different…

Felix Conrad

Checking in with Jack Molay

Crossdreaming

I’m nosy…I’m a gossip…I admit it. I wanna know what’s going on with that mysterious blogger who does so much for our community: Jack Molay. 2016 is turning out to be a tumultuous year so let’s get his perspective on things. How do you feel about Brexit? It is a disaster. I am not too worried about the economic difficulties this will cause the Brits, but I do mind that they are undermining a system that has kept Europe at peace since 1951. I am afraid the economists have had too much sway in Europe. They reduced the European peace project to a narrative about free trade and interest rates. That was not why the EEC/EU was established. It was put up to stop 1500 years of senseless bloodshed, and it worked! I am also very worried about the undercurrent of xenophobia and racism the Brexit has revealed in Britain.…

Felix Conrad

How would a crossdreamer get turned on in a Mao Tse Tung boiler suit society?

Crossdreaming

Eddie Izzard recently appeared on Bill Maher’s show on Saturday and made a comment which caught my attention. Bill mentioned performing in ‘women’s clothes’ and Eddie said… ‘Well, I don’t see them as women’s clothes anymore…there just clothes.’ This statement contains an interesting irony for the crossdreamer: that if women’s clothes ceased to be women’s clothes then the crossdreamer would lose all interest in them…which led me to the following thought experiment… How would a crossdreamer fantasize in a completely unisex world – utterly starved of distinct femininity? What cross-gender kicks are to be had in a Mao Tse Tung society where men and women wear boiler suits, both sexes have the same haircut, and there’s no make up? Your answer will very much depend on how you interpret crossdreamer sexuality. This is my interpretation…and therefore my answer to the thought experiment. How would a crossdreamer get turned on in…

Felix Conrad

A definition of autogynephilia/ femephilia: Introduction to Felix’s book

Autogynephilia

  INTRODUCTION A word on terminology. In my experience, transgender people are the greatest sticklers for terminology I have ever encountered. They can spend millions of internet forum megabytes arguing over the exact meaning of words like ‘transexual’ ‘autogynephilia’ and which pronouns to use. I’ve read my George Orwell, and it’s true that language can be used to fortify both existing power structures and popular prejudices, but I can’t help feel that these people should… get a fucking life! (Though I admit I’ve engaged in such debates so I’ll put myself at the front of the getting a life queue.) Therefore, please try to get past the terminology and think about the substance of the book. The following terms are used in this book and this is what I mean by them.   Femephilia: I use this term when focusing purely on the sexual drive towards cross gender behaviour. It…

Felix Conrad

Should I ‘come out’ to my friends and family and tell them I am transgender?

Autogynephilia

  Like most people, I believe in the twenty-first century principles of equality, openness and tolerance. I also believe people should be true to themselves and to others. However, I do not have it clear whether it is wise or necessary to out yourself as transgendered, autogynephiliac or crossdreamer. In the first place, it is not a straightforward jump out of the closet. When you tell people you’re gay they immediately know what you’re talking about. If someone wants to come out as an autogynephiliac they’re gonna have a lot of explaining to do. I give you an extract from Electra to illustrate this. “Think of a group of adults describing their relationship with blowjobs to a panel of ordinary citizens. First up comes a heterosexual woman: “I’m a woman and I like to suck men.” Everyone on the panel nods their head in understanding. Then comes a gay guy:…

Felix Conrad

The role of sexuality in the creation of cross gender identity – part 2: Trans-doomsday

Crossdreaming

Incredibly, even after everything I’ve just said, I know crossdreamers who continue with their fixation on the sex issue. They know it’s stupid but they report that it still comes back to haunt them: they worry that everything they’re doing might just be about sex and that would make it all wrong. It is at this point that I have to tell them about persistent, negative thoughts. There are some thoughts which we think mean something but in reality are just verbalised versions of a depressive or obsessive or self-destructive streak in our personality. In other words the individuals above create all sorts of sophisticated and clever formulations of a negative idea but in reality, the idea is not important…it is just their depressive or obsessive or self-destructive streak expressing itself. Therefore, the first thing you have to consider with this whole sex thing is that it may be the…

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