‘Fetish’ is an extremely unhelpful word. It is not a neutral, scientific word, but a term that comes loaded with baggage, and to most people is a synonym of ‘perversion.’ Therefore, even if it was technically correct to say that femephilia is a fetish I would eliminate the term from any dialogue around femephilia.
However, while we’re on the subject, I don’t believe autogynephilia* is a fetish because, again, femephiliac sexual behaviour is too complex to label in one pen stroke. For example, its fantasies often involve a mix of hetero or homo lust, emotion for the sexual partner, and femephiliac lust… you can’t tease them apart and say it’s all about being a woman and that’s the only thing going on. Autogynephilia is fluid: it can sometimes form a major part or only a minor part of a sexual experience. It is also chameleon like and changes in different settings.
However, I feel I should step back from my analysis because it means I am giving the word ‘fetish’ some meaning. ‘Fetish’ is not a scientific statement but a value judgement. Here is a brief dialogue to explain…
YOU: “You’re talking bullshit. Think of a man who can only get aroused by latex boots… surely he has a fetish for latex boots.”
ME: “No. He gets turned on by latex boots. You wouldn’t say that a man who only got turned on by women had a fetish for women, would you? Why is it necessary to label the latex boots thing as a fetish?”
YOU: “Because wanting to fuck women… that’s normal… needing latex boots to fuck isn’t normal.”
ME: “Ahhh so here we get to the heart of what you’re saying. I’m hetero… you’re not. I’m normal… you’re abnormal. I have a healthy manly sexuality… you have a fetishist perverted sexuality. You see!!!! The word fetish is a value judgement that says ‘abnormal, errant.’ We should all know by now that there is no ‘normal’ in human sexuality just as there is no normal in animal sexuality where it has been demonstrated that homosexuality is widespread.
I hope you get the point!
*Sorry, we have to use this word sometimes for the Google robots. If not, nobody will visit the site through ‘search’.