‘Fetish’ is an extremely unhelpful word. It is not a neutral, scientific word, but a term that comes loaded with baggage, and to most people is a synonym of ‘perversion.’ Therefore, even if it was technically correct to say that femephilia is a fetish I would eliminate the term from any dialogue around femephilia.

However, while we’re on the subject, I don’t believe autogynephilia* is a fetish because, again, femephiliac sexual behaviour is too complex to label in one pen stroke. For example, its fantasies often involve a mix of hetero or homo lust, emotion for the sexual partner, and femephiliac lust… you can’t tease them apart and say it’s all about being a woman and that’s the only thing going on. Autogynephilia is fluid: it can sometimes form a major part or only a minor part of a sexual experience. It is also chameleon like and changes in different settings.

However, I feel I should step back from my analysis because it means I am giving the word ‘fetish’ some meaning. ‘Fetish’ is not a scientific statement but a value judgement. Here is a brief dialogue to explain…

YOU: “You’re talking bullshit. Think of a man who can only get aroused by latex boots… surely he has a fetish for latex boots.”

ME: “No. He gets turned on by latex boots. You wouldn’t say that a man who only got turned on by women had a fetish for women, would you? Why is it necessary to label the latex boots thing as a fetish?”

YOU: “Because wanting to fuck women… that’s normal… needing latex boots to fuck isn’t normal.”

ME: “Ahhh so here we get to the heart of what you’re saying. I’m hetero… you’re not. I’m normal… you’re abnormal. I have a healthy manly sexuality… you have a fetishist perverted sexuality. You see!!!! The word fetish is a value judgement that says ‘abnormal, errant.’ We should all know by now that there is no ‘normal’ in human sexuality just as there is no normal in animal sexuality where it has been demonstrated that homosexuality is widespread.  

I hope you get the point!

*Sorry, we have to use this word sometimes for the Google robots. If not, nobody will visit the site through ‘search’.

Read article 8 and continue exploring your Deeper Female Self…

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  1. You can phrase it and name it whatever you like, it still boils down to male objectification of women through the medium of gender class.

    • Transcend Everything Reply

      Hi, I’m sorry but I don’t understand what you mean. This site is translated from Spanish. Can you explain in simpler language?

    • It’s interesting that if you have sexual fantasies it’s perfectly normal, but if I have EXACTLY the same sexual fantasies as you I’m considered a fetishist.

      • Transcend Everything Reply

        Sorry, I’m not sure exactly what you mean… but I would personally eliminate the word fetish from the language. Like so much of the lexicon of sexology it is heteroceentric and biased. Thanks for your comment.

  2. IanBrianna Reply

    Frankly, I don’t care. I first became aware of my crossdreaming at age 3, but I have reason to believe it was there from the start. And what if it is a fetish? Fetishes are for life. Eventually, you have to accept them as part of yourself. I even like religious fetishes.

  3. its great but then reclaiming fetish as right on, even perverted as right on is a good way to go. when I went to fetish clubs it was a rather fashionable thing to be a pervert. but I guess we looked down on some perverts and some fetishes if they were a bit pongy. I love your resource and im proud to think im a crossdreamer.

  4. Pingback: What is autogynephilia? | Novagirl

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