The Temple of Bimbofication – Volume 3

Dr. Leonard Feldman’s ambitions, as many had quietly suspected, did not stop at Beverly Hills or the metaverse. After all, if one could perfect bodies and then perfect a virtual civilization, what remained? The answer came to him during a very long lunch involving three espressos and a sketchpad: a National Temple of Bimbofication in Washington. Not a clinic, not a museum – no, a temple. Marble columns. Reflecting pools. A colossal statue whose proportions he described reverently as “constitutionally symmetrical.”
He invested everything. The clinics, the licensing deals, the metaverse subscriptions – every last dollar went into architectural renderings and an extremely enthusiastic lobbying firm. Feldman appeared in Washington carrying blueprints the size of surfboards. He spoke to committees about “aesthetic destiny” and “the sacred geometry of cheekbones.” One senator asked whether the temple had any cultural or historical relevance. Feldman stared into space for a moment, eyes glazing over in the familiar trance, and replied, “The Oracle sees… a gift shop.”
The proposal quickly became a sensation, though perhaps not in the way Feldman had hoped. Cable news debated the concept of federally recognized bimbofication. Late-night hosts produced elaborate graphics of the proposed temple, complete with rotating statues and a ceremonial hot tub. Meanwhile Feldman grew more animated by the day, explaining that visitors would enter ordinary and exit “spiritually Andersonized.” His lobbying firm quietly stopped returning his calls.
The end came gently, as these things sometimes do. During a press conference on the National Mall, Feldman unveiled a scale model of the temple featuring tiny marble avatars and a very enthusiastic fountain system. Mid-sentence, he drifted again into a trance and began blessing the model with surgical markers. Security, doctors, and a very patient ambulance crew eventually escorted him away while he murmured about “Phase Three: The Pilgrimage.”
And so the Oracle of Bimbofication disappeared from public life, last seen waving cheerfully from the back of a very calm-looking van. Some say he still sits by a window in a pleasant facility, sketching ever grander temples on napkins and occasionally slipping into a trance when new visitors arrive. The staff, used to his ways, simply nod politely when he declares that the vision has returned. After all, every oracle deserves an audience.