What do you do when you visit your psychiatrist and this happens…?
Hey NovaGirl…
Have you ever wondered if there’s some kind of test to let you know how your life’s going?
Well, there is now!
We’ve debated, fought, compromised, and then made a final decision on the 20 most important questions about life. And now we’ve put them in a cool test that let’s you know if your life is a well oiled machine or an ailing nag on its way to the knacker’s yard.
But first we’d like to share those 20 questions and explain why we think they’re important. That will give you time and reflection to consider your answers.
And if it turns out your life is a train wreck…
…then go through the questions again and fix all the issues that they indicate are so pivotal to life, love and happiness.
The 20 most important questions in a girl’s life…
Pause for thought…
You know what it’s like to just break even each month. You know what it’s like to fall short.
But you also know that it’s completely detrimental to happiness to be stressing and fretting about the cost of living. You must arrive at a point where your income exceeds your costs.
If you haven’t arrived at that point, you should at least be able to say exactly how much money you are short each month. A detailed knowledge of your finances is the first step in taking action. So, I repeat the question…
By how much do your incomings exceed your outgoings?
Pause for thought…
Novagirl stresses the importance of not living in the past. However, it’s important to know if your past is fucking with your present.
QUESTION: Are you carrying some deep, unresolved issues from your childhood?
Obviously, naming the first word that comes to mind about your childhood isn’t a perfect method…but it’s a good starting point for thought and discussion. So, I repeat… (Write your answer in the comments section at the bottom of the page ((if you want ;))
What’s the first word that comes to mind when you think about your childhood?
Pause for thought…
This is a question about toxic people in your life. The concept that some people are a form of poison is a powerful and useful concept.
We already know that a happy and fruitful life requires deep focus on multiple aspects of existence. That’s why toxic people are so dangerous: they suck all your energy and all of your focus, leaving the rest of your life dying on the vine.
Identify any toxic people in your life! Life’s too short and too great to waste on poisonous people. I’ll repeat the question…
Who causes the most conflict in your life?
Pause for thought…
An army marches on its stomach, a girl marches on her sleep.
You may think that sleep should not be a part of the 20 most important aspects of your life…but you’d be wrong. Not only does sleep deficiency lead to physical and mental disease, it undermines energy levels. Low energy is the death sentence of of many a great life plan. Therefore, I invite you to reflect on your sleep…
How many mornings a week do you wake up and feel great?
Pause for thought…
Your fantasies hold the key to what you want. They hold the key to – in the words of the Spice girls – what you really really want!
But your fantasies also reveal pain because they are often about what you don’t have (NOTE: sexual fantasies are not part of this question.)
Knowing what you truly want is an integral part of a well crafted life-plan, and although it’s unlikely you’ll be able to completely fulfill your fantasy, you can arrive somewhere in the general vicinity. For most people, that’s enough. So…
Do you have a recurring fantasy? What is it?
Pause for thought…
If I sent you to live in Mongolia, you’d need a lot of information about Mongolia in order to survive and thrive there.
Similarly, you’ve been sent to live in the world…and the best way to survive and thrive in that world is to have a lot of information about it.
Sure, you can learn from others and you can learn from TV, but if you’re serious about understanding the world (and the advantage that comes with that understanding) you need books.
Lifelong learning keeps your brain young, the mind supple, your conversation more interesting and also improves your resumé (CV). So, I repeat the question…
What’s the best non-fiction book you’ve read this year? What extra curricular courses are you doing? How do you ensure that you’re constantly learning?
Pause for thought…
It may seem like the biggest determinant of mental health is whatever the hell is swirling about your sub-conscious, but life’s boring details are also important. If you don’t organize the logistics of day to day existence (laundry, doctor’s appointments, cleaning, shopping etc.) then you create a groundswell of chaos for deeper problems to emerge. Therefore…
Do you have time set aside for all those important but mundane tasks that life consists of?
Pause for thought…
This is another one of those unprofound, extremely obvious questions.
But that doesn’t change the fact that what you put in your body is one of the most important choices you make in your life, and the consequence – your weight – one of the most important factors in health, appearance and energy level.
While leaving a few openings for spontaneous pizza and ice-cream, you should have your diet planned down to the last grain of rice. So…
How would you describe your diet and your weight? (Write answer in comments!)
Pause for thought…
Buzz… Adrenaline… Exhilaration… Excitement; could be a person, could be a place, could be a thing, could be an action – but humans need buzz to feel alive.
Socrates said that “the unexamined life is not worth living”. We say that the unexciting life is not worth living.
However, we also recognize that modern life with its artificial, online experiences and its sedentary nature is massively unexciting. That’s what makes ‘excitement’ the most difficult part of your life-plan.
Question: What excites the hell out of you? (Write answers in comments!)
Pause for thought…
There is only one correct answer to question 10: an unforseen accident.
You should possess such detailed knowledge of your health that you’ve already taken counter measures against pre-existing conditions and vulnerabilities. That leaves only the unforseen zombie apocalypse or a piano falling from the eighth floor as the biggest dangers awaiting you.
Your plan must include clear time for preventative therapies, exercises, doctor’s visits etc. So…
What is the biggest danger in your life? Have you got all bases covered with respect to your health?
Pause for thought…
You can disagree if you want, but your choice of job is more important than your choice of spouse. For a start, most people meet their future spouse at work, so if you end up in a bum job you’ll likely end up with a bum spouse.
Putting love to one side, we spend more waking time at work than with our husbands, kids or anyone else, so It’s essential you make the right choice! Therefore…
What job will you be doing in 2030?
But what do you do – for example – if you want to be an actor but you need to pay your rent? In this common scenario of ambition versus reality you end up doing a job and have no time to act.
These are all challenges we face when building a life-plan. The final result must be, though, that your plan contains a clear pathway to your profesional future. S
What are 3 things you’re doing this week to bring about your 2030 job?
Pause for thought….
Most of us have 1 or 2 mental health problems that we know about such as neurosis, OCD, depression etc. However, most of us have 1 or 2 mental health problems that we don’t know about. It’s extremely important that you are aware of any mental pathologies that affect your life and well being. Therefore…
Do you have a clear picture of your mental health… and are you doing everything necessary to treat any problems you may have?
Pause for thought…
Pause for thought…The internet? The decline in religion? Soft parenting? Nobody knows the exact cause … but it’s safe to say that narcissism is reaching epidemic proportions and time honoured traditions such as ‘fessing up’ are on the outs.
Admitting an error – be it moral, factual or procedural – is not just the right thing to do, but it’s a vital part of learning from one’s mistakes and moving forward. It’s also an essential part of successfully living with someone.
Time must be taken each week to reflect on one’s mistakes and their remedies. So ask yourself…
When was the last time you admitted you were wrong? 
Pause for thought…
The best answer is – “Neither empty or full; the glass is at 50% of its liquid containing capacity.”
Most people think that it’s emotion that makes us human, but what truly separates us from animals is our capacity for reason.
People who can’t transcend emotion, hunch, or the intense desire to be right, avoid evidence based decisions. This has disastrous effects on their personal lives because most conflicts center on establishing the facts about what was said or done. Instead of looking at the evidence, they use strength of will.
It also means a whole series of profesional and life choices will be made using subjective criteria where objective would produce much better results. So…
Is the glass half full or half empty? Or… if you prefer: how good are you at following empirical evidence and data rather than emotion?
Pause for thought…
An inscription on the temple of Apollo in Delphi reads… “nothing in excess.”
Almost all pathology involves excess: depression is the excess of sadness, addiction is the excess of substance, and anxiety is the excess of worry. Whether it’s a mental state like anger or a physical act like over-working, everybody does things to excess.
Excess is toxic because it leads to one of the fundamental states of illness: imbalance. You must restore balance to your life by reducing the things you do too much and increasing the things yo do too little. So…
What’re 3 things you do too much … and three things you do too little?
Pause for thought…
When humans have a clear purpose they function more efficiently and are happier. This is true for groups of children, projects, companies, military units and many other types of organizations.
However, it’s also true for individuals. Whether you feel your purpose is to save the planet, raise your children to be happy, or to serve God, people who see a clear purpose to their life tend to be more inspired and motivated.
This is because humans are obsessive storytellers and consumers of stories. We need a narrative to inspire and guide us through life. We need a mission. So, I ask you…
What’s your purpose in life?
Pause for thought…
The human being was designed to move. We can run, jump, crawl, climb, walk and somersault. Our proclivity to movement comes from the fact that we are primates… and not that far in the distant past we were swinging through trees.
Doing exercise isn’t just about being physically healthy, it’s about being happy. A human being with a Homer Simpson lifestyle is living a pathetic half-life. In fact, there’s a reason Homer is always on the couch with beer and pizza…because the only way to tolerate that life is to drug yourself with food, drink or dope.
A happy, healthy life must include constant motion because that is what we were biologically programmed for. So…
How much exercise do you do each day?
Pause for thought…
The whole object of this exercise is that you ruthlessly focus on your life and discover what’s best for you – instead of all the other people around you.
However, there’s a paradoxical aspect to making yourself happy: that often we are happiest making other people happy. Giving your time and energy to help others is enormously gratifying, and there is probably no greater recipe for unhappiness than a selfish life that’s all about ME, ME, ME!
You may find the above hard to believe because you are happy being selfish…but I assure you: the dissatisfaction will creep in eventually. Why? Humans and primates are intensely social animals and favours, commitments and reciprocity is a fundamental part of our nature. So let me ask you…
How many people did you willingly help last week?
Pause for thought…
This question sounds like one of Bilbo’s riddles.
It refers to times where you are so engaged in what you’re doing (dancing, laughing, drinking etc.) that you’re not aware of your thoughts. You’re in the moment.
Novagirl makes you think long and hard about your life, and that’s good; but there’s a cost: it does your head in.
A healthy life-plan includes activities where you lose yourself in the task at hand. Example could be….sex, drugs and rock n’ roll…or maybe just a bloody good series on Netflix. Whatever you choose, you need to disconnect from thinking and find pure pleasure! So…
How often are you wide awake but you’re not thinking at all?
Pause for thought…
It’s the nightmare scenario: you develop a kidney disease and the only way to save your life is a kidney transplant.
Fortunately, human beings can easily survive with one kidney and we all have two…so all you need is a good friend to give you one of theirs. How many would volunteer?
Okay, you can forget the above example…it’s a bit extreme. What you really need to think about is… how many good friends do you have? What defines a good friend? And if you don’t have as many friends as you would like…how are you going to make new ones?
Your life plan must include activities in which you are investing in your friendships and seeking out new ones if necessary. So…
How many of your friends pass the kidney test?
Okay, NovaGirl, you have surveyed the 20 questions…
Now you can do the test yourself…
FINANCES...
SLEEP...
CHILDHOOD...
CONFLICT...
DESIRES...
EDUCATION...
DIET...
HEALTH...
CAREER...
MATURITY...
EXERCISE...
ATTITUDE...
MENTAL HEALTH...
PHILOSOPHY...
LOGISTICS...
ALTRUISM...
REST & RELAXATION...
This question is about how often you truly relax (because you're having so much fun you disconnect from your problems). Maybe you disconnect through sport or socializing - the point is that you have escaped your own thoughts.
FRIENDS...
It’s the nightmare scenario: you develop a kidney disease and the only way to save your life is a kidney transplant. Fortunately, human beings can easily survive with one kidney and we all have two…so all you need is a good friend to give you one of theirs. How many would volunteer?
SOCIAL SKILLS...
RELATIONSHIPS... (THIS IS THE LAST QUESTION...)
Share your Results:
1 Comment
This is the best thing I read today, and I’ve read-non-fiction.
When it comes to financial and career educatiomn, you should teach to aqcuire and hold assets instead of working for money.