While Jack Molay sits in his log cabin, somewhere in Scandinavia, reading his scholarly books on the science of transsexualism… Felix and I watch teen transvloggers on youTube. I’m addicted… but I gotta say… if I ever see another ‘three months on hormones video’ I will kill myself.

I’ve actually come to the conclusion that psychologists have got it all wrong: forget all that shit about Barbies when you were young… the best way to know if you’re transgender is if you have an irresistible compulsion to start a vlog.

Sorry, speaking more seriously, from my youtube research I have noted two ways to discover you’re transgender. The first is called

the all-knowing

the second is the

chicken-chow-mein awakening.

The ‘all-knowing’ is a tongue in cheek term. It refers to that quality often ascribed to God, and I use it bitchily to refer to that all-wise, all-seeing, all-knowing transgender chick who ‘just always knew they were transgender.’

You can call me a bitch, but I always find there’s something vaguely superior about it… like… they popped out of their mother’s vagina and before the umbilical cord was even cut… they just knew they were transgender. Their life story is the perfect movie script of a trans life: they played with dolls, they wore the princess dress and they hated their willy. It’s like they did a God damn course on how to be trans…

…and passed with flying colours.

The glamour and clarity of the all knowing is in stark contrast to the chicken-chow-mein awakening. In this second scenario you’re approximately 40, eating cheap Chinese food in front of the telly, alone and single, tray balanced on your beer belly, scratching your bald head when you suddenly realise…

‘Fucking hell… I’m transgender…”

But however you came to your awakening, you know you’re transgender because once it happens you can’t get it out of your head. Then the question becomes Should I transition….

Dara is a licensed gender therapist and today she asks how you know if you’re transgender.


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