Elle’s Life Lessons…

Lesson 1: Getting Dumped

I tire of people easily.

This means I’ve dumped a lot of guys (and a few girls too), and it’s taught Your Mistress the following life lesson…

That there’s something about being dumped that reduces a human adult to the emotional equivalent of a small child. One minute you have a rational, mature human, and then…

…an obsessive, stalking mess, with a dignity deficiency.

The last thing I need is another obsessive ex, so over the past few years I’ve started simultaneously dumping my boyfriends and giving them a heads up on how to handle it.

My advice is based on common sense, Salkovskis’s theory on obsessions, and RET.

Here’s the 5 strategies I advise…

1. Recognize that getting dumped is an authentic mental trauma, that causes a temporary mental illness.

Being dumped triggers a temporary bout of mental illness. For reasons that aren’t clear, being abandoned somehow makes the abandoned want the abandoner more than anything else in the world (even if they were previously only lukewarm on that person).

The temporary mental illness is characterized by…

  • Obsessive thoughts.
  • Depression.
  • Contradictory feelings of love and hate (with resulting existential disorientation.)
  • Irrationality.

Recognizing that your reaction to being dumped is pathological, allows you to realize that all the obsessive thoughts and emotions in your head are not real, but the result of a temporary mental illness.

How long this mental illness lasts depends on you, but it can last anything from a few days to the rest of your life. That’s why you need to take action. And the first step is to recognize the illness and not be seduced into thinking your silly thoughts are real.


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1 Comment

  1. I love how this five-steo program is a combination a healing, self-care, and self-improvement. I think that this strategy is one to be employed to deal with many of the challenges that arise throughout life, particularly when it comes to giving back. Considering the issues I am dealing with when it comes to gender, it all starts with looking inward and self-confidence that wilk radiate out to others who might not be as accepting or nice about the transition.

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