If you are looking for a cure for autogynephilia I would ask you: is there a cure for heterosexuality? Is there a cure for being gay?

To the best of my knowledge all previous attempts in history to ‘cure’ sexual inclinations have failed. The one that comes to mind is electric shock therapy… used on homeosexual men in an effort to ‘cure’ them, and guess what: they were still gay afterwards. Even chemical castration – while radically lowering the libido – doesn’t remove the inclination to the type of sex an individual has always preferred.

So, my friend, there is no cure for autogynephilia. And the main reason there’s no cure is because a cure can only exist for a disease… autogynephilia is not a disease, it is a type of sexuality and sexuality can not be erased or modified into something unrecognisable from what it was.

However, let’s be a little more sophisticated. Now you realise that looking for a cure was a clumsy formulation of your real questions, which are…

1. How can I maintain a ‘normal,’ ‘healthy,’ ‘manly’ hetero sex life while the greater part of my sexuality centers on fantasising about the female role?

2. If there is no cure, can I at least reduce the intensity of autogynephilia?

3. It feels like I’m addicted to pornography that centers on autogynephilia. Can I cure this addiction?

1. Maintaining a heterosexual relationship.

This should not be too difficult. After all, you love women… you are with a woman. The problem comes when there is nothing about this woman that turns on your feminine inclinations – something that quickly happens to a femephiliac. In other words, when the relationship starts there is always a sexual thrill, but that thrill wears off quickly for a femephiliac.

You must be honest with yourself and realise that the relationship can not continue in the same way anymore. It’s time for change. Condemning a woman to a passionless relationship is just wrong. And of course, it’s bad for you.

This is the point where it’s time for a little chat with your girlfriend about how to reinvigorate your sex life. In this  chat you will have to proceed very cautiously because if you frame things the wrong way she might end up losing respect for you or even her sexual attraction for you (This issue I deal with in Should I tell my wife?) . Yes, I know she shouldn’t in the ideal world, but it’s not the ideal world… and she has her sexual tastes too and they may not be compatible with gender bending fantasies. Therefore, depending on the character of your wife, you have three options…

1) Full disclosure as to your tastes and sexuality.

This, of course, is the ideal – in terms of honesty and sexual satisfaction, but I repeat… it’s extremely risky. In first place, there is a possibility that not only will she not accept it like it or want it… it might be a huge turn off for her. And once that information’s out it’s out… you can’t observe her reaction and go back in time to take it back. The further potential consequence is that she may not be good at keeping secrets. She may or may not tell her trusted confidants, and one day, should the relationship break down and become conflictive, she might tell the whole world.

To conclude… only do this if you are absoloutely sure of her love, confidentiality and acceptance. Ideally, she should be a little partial herself to unconventional sexual practices.

2) Partial disclosure.

Femephiliacs are, by their nature, excited by all things female. Sex could improve substantially if your girlfriend glammed it up a bit… both in the bedroom and in the streeT. If you have one of those wives who’s attractive but doesn’t believe in make up, short skirts and interesting lingerie, well… tell her it’s time to sex things up.

Often, it’s not necessary to explain to a woman why you want them to wear a corset while you have sex. They have already experienced men with such a desire and often like to dress up anyway. If it is necessary to explain (especially with a woman with feminist or tom boy leanings,) say that you aknowledge it’s shallow and a little silly but the fact is it really turns you on.

This is partial disclosure because you are admitting that things-femme turn you on, but you are not going any further than that. Your wife will presume you are asking what most men ask their girl to do at some point (dress up). Or, even if it does seem fetishistic, it’s not so radicle or impacting as telling her you want to have sex as a woman.

It’s not just about appearance, though, it’s also about behaviour. Many femephiliac men get turned on by watching women being dominated. Obviously, the femephiliac wants to be the woman, but who needs to know that? If you dominate your wife the way you would like to be dominated then you will find it extremely arousing… and almost certainly she will too. I personally believe that there is not a human on the planet who does not enjoy dominating and/or being dominated; go for it… you might be surprised at the results.

3) Do nothing and watch the relationship fade away.

Obviously this is not an option. You must do something.

Two pieces of general advice that will serve you well.

1) Two cocks are better than one.

I am amazed at how many couples don’t have a dildo. Your penis is fallible… not only may it not be to your girl’s taste – in terms of size and shape, but it isn’t always 100% solid. Ask your girlfreind what her perfect size cock is and then go buy it. A good dildo can really – quite literally – add something to your sex life.

2) Don’t be greedy!

When a couple decide to kink things up a little… and you are suddenely allowed to chanel one of your sexual preferences… you start wanting it whenever you have sex. THIS IS A BIG MISTAKE. Sex is for two, therefore it is very important that firstly, you regularly put aside your preferences and have a good old fashioned fuck, and secondly, you comply with her kinks and do whatever she likes.

Your partner will get tired of it if, for example, you constantly insist she dress like a street whore when you have sex. She’s not only gonna get tired of it but she’ll see you as a fetishist who is more interested in the street whore thing than her… and that ain’t good. Furthermore, make sure that from time to time… you surprise her with something new and unexpected; never fall into a routine of the same sexual activity.

Now we return to our two reconfigured versions of the question: is there a cure for autogynephilia?

2. If there is no cure, can I at least reduce the intensity of autogynephilia?

Yes you can… but not satisfactorily.

The first method is to have a completely new relationship, have kids, and basically reactivate your classic hetero side. Your classic hetero side definitely exists but he tends to diminish as relationships get longer and less fresh. That autogynephilia waxes and wanes over time is pretty clear and the variable involved is almost always… how excited you are by your current relationship. Clearly, this is not the perfect cure or soloution.

The second method rests on the fact that autogynephilia, despite its female disposition, is a creature of testostorone. Decrease your level of testosterone and you will reduce the intensity of your sex drive – thus your femephiliac cravings.

You can do this through…

1) Anti androgens like the baldness pill propecia (this will not kill off your sex drive only lower it… therefore it has limited effect on the intensity of your cross gender sexual urges.)

2) Taking oestrogen (unfortunately, while’curing’ somewhat your autogynephilia, you will grow breasts and hips and not be capable of sex.

It is our opinion that reducing the intensity of autogynephilia is a question of learning to accept it and live with it. Read our book on the topic if you want to achieve such acceptance.

Now, let’s move onto our third ‘cure’ related question.

3. It feels like I’m addicted to pornography that centers on autogynephilia. Can I cure this addiction?

Alot of autogynephiliacs talk about being addicted to autogynephiliac porn. This to me is a little like an alcoholic saying they’re a vodka addict when the correct diagnosis is alcoholism… the vodka is immaterial… it could be beer, wine or any other agent that carries ethanol. The point is there’s nothig specific to autogynephilia which makes it more likely you’ll become addicted to pornography.

If you are addicted to porn therefore, you are addicted to porn… and must follow the same treatment as any other porn addict. There is an abundance of advice online on this issue.

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