Felix Conrad

Should I ‘come out’ to my friends and family and tell them I am transgender?

Autogynephilia

  Like most people, I believe in the twenty-first century principles of equality, openness and tolerance. I also believe people should be true to themselves and to others. However, I do not have it clear whether it is wise or necessary to out yourself as transgendered, autogynephiliac or crossdreamer. In the first place, it is not a straightforward jump out of the closet. When you tell people you’re gay they immediately know what you’re talking about. If someone wants to come out as an autogynephiliac they’re gonna have a lot of explaining to do. I give you an extract from Electra to illustrate this. “Think of a group of adults describing their relationship with blowjobs to a panel of ordinary citizens. First up comes a heterosexual woman: “I’m a woman and I like to suck men.” Everyone on the panel nods their head in understanding. Then comes a gay guy:…

Felix Conrad

Should I tell my wife about my autogynephiliac fantasies?

Autogynephilia

  (This article presumes that you yourself didn’t fully understand your crossdreaming when the relationship began, but now you do, and your crossdreaing has intensified. Should you tell her? However, if you are already fully concious of your crossdreaming and are starting a relationship then I think the issue is much clearer – you have a moral responsibility to tell her; however I will explore this in another article.) This is a very difficult question. The answer is… it depends on your wife’s personality, and how much you love her. For example, if you know your wife is not going to take it well and the relationship is of high value then you will not want to jeopardise your relationship by telling her you fantasise about being a woman being fucked by two guys (for example). This is the point where some high-minded people go “yes… but if she was…

Felix Conrad

The role of sexuality in the creation of cross gender identity – part 2: Trans-doomsday

Crossdreaming

Incredibly, even after everything I’ve just said, I know crossdreamers who continue with their fixation on the sex issue. They know it’s stupid but they report that it still comes back to haunt them: they worry that everything they’re doing might just be about sex and that would make it all wrong. It is at this point that I have to tell them about persistent, negative thoughts. There are some thoughts which we think mean something but in reality are just verbalised versions of a depressive or obsessive or self-destructive streak in our personality. In other words the individuals above create all sorts of sophisticated and clever formulations of a negative idea but in reality, the idea is not important…it is just their depressive or obsessive or self-destructive streak expressing itself. Therefore, the first thing you have to consider with this whole sex thing is that it may be the…