There’s been some tension amongst our small team of bloggers about the word ‘sissy’. As many of my readers know…I just can’t get comfortable with it.

That’s why, every few weeks, I tend to have a minor ding-dong with Elle about her constant and unrelenting use of the word. This finally blew up in a testy e-mail exchange and that’s when she challenged me to find a synonym or replacement for the word, ‘sissy.’

I thought I’d share my results with you.

1. Syster

I love the word ‘sister’ and ‘sisterhood’ so came up with the obvious trick of infusing the word with a ‘y’ from ‘sissy.’ Of course, it’s fundamentally flawed because when you speak it you don’t know the ‘y’ is there.

2. Padavka

This is the  straightforward linguistic approach. After translating the word ‘sissy’ into 56 languages on Google translate (in many languages they simply use the English, sissy) I liked ‘Padavka’ the most. It’s Czech. Other candidates included…

  • Vekling (Swedish)
  • Curica (Bulgarian)
  • Nezhenka (Russian)

3. He-fail

Ok, obviously this one is just a joke, but as the sissy community is diverse I thought I’d throw a bone to our masochist friends.

4. Blonde on the Inside

Ok, this isn’t a noun, but I thought it was a pretty good euphemism – the sissy equivalent of ‘he’s batting for the pink team.’ One of the principle characteristics of crossgender fantasy is the stark difference between the real you and the fantasy you. Many of us are ‘blonde on the inside.’

5. Femeleon

I’ll admit that I may have started to get a little tangential here. Okay…a sissy changes its appearance in a ‘fem’ way, but now I think of it, this is a little bit too Xmen.

6. Novagirl

This comes from the Latin ‘nova’ for ‘new’. I liked this name so much that I decided to buy the domain and change the name of my website (a hasty decision I’m starting to realize!) However, I still love the term because I’m generally obssessed with starting a new life…especially as a girl.

Conclusion

Well, I don’t think I’ve found a definitive or adequate substitute for the word, sissy, but I had a lot of fun along the way. Tell me in the comments section what you think would be a good substitute…or are you a ‘sissy’ loyalist?

The End…


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5 Comments

  1. I’d have to agree with Felix on this that ‘Sissy’ is a derogatory term which is meant to deride guys off their feminine qualities by others. The underlying connotations of the term have become so perverse today that there is a sure need to replace it with a ‘more perfect’ term. A singular word, which is easy and quick to remember should do the job. Unfortunately, I can’t come up with a better term myself but Nova Girl does come close.

    • Editorial board Reply

      Thanks so much Shubham for your input. As you have such a wonderful and grandiose name, maybe you should think up the replacement term.

    • I am a proud ultra-feminine submissive Sissy. The only “masculine” parts of me are under my skirts. I love being a Sissy.

  2. @ Barbara Haskell : it’s interesting how you analized the need to have a barrier between the 2 “me”, I’m in this case and I also think that pejorative words like sissy or other name “degrading” tries to maintain this barrier, but is this indispenssable? For my part, in the beginning it helps me, but now I evolve, and I do not think I still need this kind of qualifier, the masculine self having accepted the feminine ego. A naughty feminine, not to say a lot more to deprive, of course, but in what it deserves a devaluation of my feminine self, I accept and love that game sex but not outside, like a real woman are. Jespere that google translation will make me understand, excuse me I’m french 🙂

  3. “Sissy” is a pejorative, but that is a feature, not a bug for me.

    There is more than one way of being transgendered and for some people—people like me—our transition is inseparable from our masochism. Gender identity and sexual masochism are separate categories, but they are fused in some people like Italian identity is fused with Roman Catholicism or Greek identity with the Orthodox tradition.

    You can be transgender and not a sexual submissive and you can be sexually submissive and not and not trans. You can even be both and yet not have them connected—where your subby kinks have nothing to do with emasculation or gender bending. But for those of us who do have them fused together (and I’d suggest this is a frequently seen pattern) what could be a better label than sissy?

    Sissy implies a failure to make the grade as a man or a woman and therefore inferior to both. Contrast this with transwomen, that is women who happen to be trans; they are women and not inferior (or, some would say, even meaningfully different as a category) to women who happen not to be trans. Sissies specifically adopt from femininity those gender roles, archetypes, presentations, modes of expression, and other elements that are infused with subjugation, submission, and patriarchy. This creates a sexualized identity that is closer to the distorted women of male fantasies than real women. Typical features can include: Deferential attitudes and sexual submission, objectification and even “bimbofication,” wearing lingerie, provocative clothes, make-up, and other adornments addressed to the male gaze. Sissies do not, generally, embrace strong, proud, empowered models of womanhood, though they often adore and idealize them. They may want to serve women like Elle, but they do not usually see themselves becoming her.

    Speaking for myself, the various meanings of sissy seem perfect. It can refer to your essential identity, your manner, behavior, and appearance; to both the sexual self and your larger character. It means, for instance “sister,” which is the way I relate to non-dominant men and women (both in sex but also in vanilla life). It means effeminate AMAB, which is obviously true. It suggests that women’s clothes and grooming types are your preference or are more appropriate for you. Because effeminacy has often (and incorrectly) been associated with gay and bi, it implies that as well. Really, “sissy” is the ultimate queering of traditional gender—it subverts as it defies; positively embracing both what is fear most in men (submission, femininity, gayness) and what is forced on women (submission, hyper-sexualization, objectification). It renounces power, privilege, and prestige in an unthinkable and shocking way.

    Sissy is also a useful term for telling others who you are and what you want; it communicates so much in one word. The many unfamiliar gender labels these days can obscure, confuse, and be barriers to understanding; but when I say, “I’m a sissy,” people know what that means or at least have a pretty good idea. Any nuances of usage within that envelope—about sexual orientation or preferences—can be clarified much more quickly than if I had started dropping more obscure, less established, and less precise terms.

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