Felix Conrad

A definition of autogynephilia/ femephilia: Introduction to Felix’s book

Autogynephilia

  INTRODUCTION A word on terminology. In my experience, transgender people are the greatest sticklers for terminology I have ever encountered. They can spend millions of internet forum megabytes arguing over the exact meaning of words like ‘transexual’ ‘autogynephilia’ and which pronouns to use. I’ve read my George Orwell, and it’s true that language can be used to fortify both existing power structures and popular prejudices, but I can’t help feel that these people should… get a fucking life! (Though I admit I’ve engaged in such debates so I’ll put myself at the front of the getting a life queue.) Therefore, please try to get past the terminology and think about the substance of the book. The following terms are used in this book and this is what I mean by them.   Femephilia: I use this term when focusing purely on the sexual drive towards cross gender behaviour. It…

Felix Conrad

Late onset transsexual? Why you should never identify as a woman

Late onset transsexualism

Step 2a of the Fusion Program: : Identify in a healthy, realistic direction, and understand that gender change for you should be mostly psychological not physical. When a man with a femephiliac sexuality starts down the road to transsexualism, it is a consequence of his deeper female self. She is reminding him in an abrupt and arresting tone – just as a spouse or girlfriend might – that this relationship is not just about sex. When this happens it can be viewed as a call to action by the deeper female self. The big question, though, is… what action is she demanding? The deeper female self is demanding  expression and assimilation. This can happen at any time but I suspect that the deeper female self is a little bit like a guardian angel and appears when we need her: when there is something missing in our lives or we are leading…

Felix Conrad

Optimum mental health is absololutely vital

Autogynephilia

  Step 3 of the Fusion Program: Eliminate all mental pathologies… This may not be relevant to all readers but it’s certainly relevant to some, and they need to take decisive action immediately. You see, there are some people who initiate a program of life change and start out, logically, by focusing on important details like jobs and relationships and lifestyle. However, they have jumped the gun; the first thing you must do before anything else is to solve any major – or minor – problems you have with your mental health. These problems are often the cause of discord in all those areas mentioned above: jobs, relationships, money and lifestyle. Once you fix the root cause, then you can deal with the details. A common problem with people who have gender issues is that it becomes a mono causal root of all evil… …I’m alcoholic because of my gender issues.…

Felix Conrad

Find out why the people in your life don’t consider you the best person they know

Autogynephilia

  Step 8 of the Fusion Program: Discover and correct your faults Maybe people already consider you the best person they know… but I doubt it. If your behaviour had been informed from an early age by your deeper female self however, they probably would. Now it’s time to find out what went wrong, because things aren’t going to suddenly occur to you like magic just because your expressing your female side; sometimes you have to actively investigate and analyse what has happened in your life to find the way forward. Discovering your faults as a person and correcting them is definitely the way forward. Let me repeat that: discovering your faults as a person and correcting them is definitely the way forward. I repeat it because humans are incredibly bad at doing this, and it’s a tragedy because correcting your faults is one of the most significant and effective ways…

Felix Conrad

How to deal with gender dysphoria

How to Beat Gender Dysphoria

Step 9 of the Fusion Program:: Get tough on gender dysphoria Now that we have begun to explore some of the amazing, positive steps you can take to move your life forward… it’s time for a bit of a downer. This is because it is exactly what will happen to you in the next few months… you’ll be flying high and then one day you’ll deflate. And what will cause it? Our old nemesis… gender dysphoria. Yes, I’m sorry to tell you that even when you achieve fusion, your gender dysphoria won’t go away. It will be diminished, it will be reduced in frequency and intensity, but it will still pop in there from time to time. Once a transsexual decides they belong to the other gender, and they feel that in the core of their being… it becomes a part of their makeup. Even individuals who undergo surgery can still experience…

Felix Conrad

Should I ‘come out’ to my friends and family and tell them I am transgender?

Autogynephilia

  Like most people, I believe in the twenty-first century principles of equality, openness and tolerance. I also believe people should be true to themselves and to others. However, I do not have it clear whether it is wise or necessary to out yourself as transgendered, autogynephiliac or crossdreamer. In the first place, it is not a straightforward jump out of the closet. When you tell people you’re gay they immediately know what you’re talking about. If someone wants to come out as an autogynephiliac they’re gonna have a lot of explaining to do. I give you an extract from Electra to illustrate this. “Think of a group of adults describing their relationship with blowjobs to a panel of ordinary citizens. First up comes a heterosexual woman: “I’m a woman and I like to suck men.” Everyone on the panel nods their head in understanding. Then comes a gay guy:…

Felix Conrad

Should I tell my wife about my autogynephiliac fantasies?

Autogynephilia

  (This article presumes that you yourself didn’t fully understand your crossdreaming when the relationship began, but now you do, and your crossdreaing has intensified. Should you tell her? However, if you are already fully concious of your crossdreaming and are starting a relationship then I think the issue is much clearer – you have a moral responsibility to tell her; however I will explore this in another article.) This is a very difficult question. The answer is… it depends on your wife’s personality, and how much you love her. For example, if you know your wife is not going to take it well and the relationship is of high value then you will not want to jeopardise your relationship by telling her you fantasise about being a woman being fucked by two guys (for example). This is the point where some high-minded people go “yes… but if she was…

Felix Conrad

The role of sexuality in the creation of cross gender identity – part 2: Trans-doomsday

Crossdreaming

Incredibly, even after everything I’ve just said, I know crossdreamers who continue with their fixation on the sex issue. They know it’s stupid but they report that it still comes back to haunt them: they worry that everything they’re doing might just be about sex and that would make it all wrong. It is at this point that I have to tell them about persistent, negative thoughts. There are some thoughts which we think mean something but in reality are just verbalised versions of a depressive or obsessive or self-destructive streak in our personality. In other words the individuals above create all sorts of sophisticated and clever formulations of a negative idea but in reality, the idea is not important…it is just their depressive or obsessive or self-destructive streak expressing itself. Therefore, the first thing you have to consider with this whole sex thing is that it may be the…

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