Maybe you like hockey, maybe you go ballroom dancing, or maybe deep sea diving is your thing. As later episodes of I’m Cait showed us – with Caitlyn stressing about her status at the local golf club – transition affects every corner of our lives… including our hobbies and sporting life.
Above is an excellent video from Caro Land who has a channel on youtube. She talks frankly about getting outed at her local gym. As a fitness fanatic she was extremely taken aback by the experience and is still debating whether to return there.
Questions
What is your principal hobby and how would it be affected by your transition?
What is your principle sporting activity ” “?
Social life
It is impossible to find a study of happiness that does not emphasise the importance of friends and socialising. I want you to focus less on your friends’ immediate reaction to your transition, and focus instead on its practical consequences.
Question
How do you imagine your social life to be six months into your transition? How can you make an educated guess?
Naturally, this question is intimately linked to the issue we mentioned before of transition equalling – a coming out of your shell or a retreat back into it. Clearly, if you envision lots of new friends and social adventures then your social life is destined to improve and your happiness with it. If you anticipate an influx of friends, however, you’ll have to explain exactly where they are going to come from… you cann’t just cite a general feeling that you’ll be the toast of the town.
2 Comments
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I actually struggled with this when I transitioned because I lost almost every guy friend I had. And I was active duty in a male dominant career field, therefore I didn’t have the luxury of just making friends with the girls at the watercooler. Instead I did the one thing I still do. Bury my self in work, I started college while still stationed near a small college town. After a year most people didn’t miss pronoun me and my service contract finally ended, so I did the next logical step make new friends as the authentic me. To do so I joined a sorority. I was terrified of rejection, but social isolation is even more terrifying to me. Thankfully the by laws allowed individuals that identified and lived as female, so all that was left was a private vote after everyone was acquainted with you. Somehow, as much of an awkward dork as I am, they voted me in and now have a bunch sister. But i forgot one major fact; just like in any organization you have clicks. upper class men, lower classmen, freshman, transfers (me). Fortunately I was assigned to a big sister who was and is still a mentor and friend to me. However, I am moderately extrovert so I thrive in social situations and I feel comfortable just sitting by myself at an event. Unfortunately friends come and go and making new friends is hard because just as with dating you fear the rejection that comes with telling people you’re transgender. Maybe it’s because it is the holidays and seasonal depression is a thing, but that emptiness is returning when ever school is out. I find my self trying to bury these feeling of dispare in my hobbies so I post revealing immages for attention. How pathetic, I know. Though when you have no one; a comment such as you are beautiful is like a dopamine shot. It feels like resuscitation. But then it wears off and you may delete the work if you think it went to far after, but sooner or later I know where this is heading and I won’t be able to delete it. At least getting attention won’t be a problem anymore. I’ve yet to commit to this, although the notion is a becoming increasingly tempting and I’m sure it is a relatable one for some. Socialization in an accepting environment that actually makes you feel like you trully belong; who wouldn’t fantasize about some form of that.